Shine Again

Part of Me

2012-01-25T14:06:00.004-05:00

My kids have been reading through my blog this past week and enjoying themselves immensely. It's brought up a lot of memories, howling laughter and conversations between them. This is the first time ever that they've been independently interested in what I've written, yet I've been hit with a twinge of guilt. "Mom, why did you stop writing? You should have told about that one time.... I like hearing your voice on paper."

I know. I know.

I am a bit inspired, though, that this little blog is serving the purpose for which it was composed- to give our children a bit of insight into our lives, relationships and history together while passing along my own thoughts and perspectives as God is changing me day by day. It makes me smile to think of the seven of them ten, twenty, even thirty years from now having these writings and pictures in a permanent record and at their disposal at any time. My smile grows even bigger when I imagine my grandchildren learning about their own parents as little boys or girls.

Yesterday I had a conversation with a co-worker who is an author. She was sharing about her passion for writing and how she answers the question, "What do you do?" Though she is a full time NICU nurse, she always responds, "I'm a writer." Writing is what flows naturally for her It is what she must do. It is what she most loves.

I found myself tearing up as I told her about how I have written since I was a child and used to enjoying keeping up a blog. My emotions surprised me. It was much the same feeling that comes over me when I think about playing the piano.

We live in a soundbite kind of world. Little bits of information here or there fill our days. No stories. No details. No time to put it down or take it in.

Perhaps it's time for that to change.

Learning to Be Mom

2012-01-09T13:52:00.002-05:00

I am currently reading Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller and in just one chapter I've been majorly convicted on many levels.

Perhaps one of my biggest challenges of the past year has been in how to parent our teenagers. I found myself in a cycle of frustration, disappointment and anger as we worked through some new and challenging issues.

Instead of dealing with the heart issues, I spent a lot of time asking questions like, "Don't you know better and this? You were not raised this way, were you?" I think that having homeschooled our children for so many years I (wrongly, I might add) feel responsible for and entitled to children who would 99% of the time do the right thing.

When things weren't going "my" way, too many times I responded hastily and in sin. I'm thankful for the grace we can give to one another, because we have ultimately been given grace by God.

As the conflicts have faded into the past, I have been reflecting on what I've learned about myself as not just a mom, but as a child of God. Just as I'm still learning what it means to be God's child, I have so much more to learn about what it means to love the children God has entrusted me to mother.

The book's chapter was about the idols in Abraham's life and his willing sacrifice of Isaac. Here are some excerpts from the book that specifically challenged me:

"I must be able to say, 'My desire for completely successful and happy children is selfish. It's all about my need to feel worthwhile and valuable. If I really know God's love- then I could accept less-than-perfect kids and wouldn't be crushing them. If God's love meant more to me than my children, I could love my children less selfishly and more truly.'"

When a child is an idol a parent:

Overdisciplines them/ Needs them to be "perfect"
Underdisciplines them / Can't bear their displeasure

Then the child fails to meet expectations the parent becomes angry, cruel or violent because of their disappointment.

"God's rough treatment of Abraham was merciful- until Abraham had to choose between his son and his God he could not see that his love was becoming idolatrous."

"If anyone puts a child in the place of the true God, it creates an idolatrous love that will smother the child and strangle the relationship. "

Intentional

2011-12-29T14:30:00.006-05:00

This is my word for 2012. Intentional. Being purposeful does not come naturally to me. I am an ideas girl who likes to make big plans and yet the follow through is often lacking. This can be an assest when flexibility is needed, but frustration arises when the day/month/year has past and all there is to show for it is a lot of could've/should've/would've.

Instead of my typical New Year's resolutions, I've instead set some specific goals in several areas of my life. These aren't just aspirations, but actions that can only be done with intention. I'll leave the end result to God.

Spiritual: Memorize Colossians 3. Join or lead a Bible Study for some portion this year. Read through the Bible with a 3 year plan.

Relational/Family: Write one hand written note per week and actually send it. Pray individually with each of my children once a week. Go on a "date" with each of the kids once a month (even if it is just going to the store together.) Show one intentional act of love to Sean each day in word or deed.

Financial: Establish a written, monthly budget. Balance the books each Saturday. Organize and collect coupons for shopping. Carry cash to pay for consumables (food, gas, misc, clothing, eating out...no debit card for these).

Social: Host one family a month for dinner. Blog once a week.

Physical: Move on purpose at least 20 minutes per day (even if just walking in the evening). Work out at the Y with Sean in the morning at least once per week. Avoid completely white foods (sugar, flour, rice, potato.... Sounds extreme, but I'm all or nothing when it comes to food).

Career: Read two books related to lactation. Attend one seminar or conference in my area. Complete my education requirements at work on time and attend 50% of staff meetings.

It looks like a lot, yet each could be achieved by simply being aware, being available and being willing to be intentional.

Recap

2011-10-19T09:32:00.003-04:00

Oh, how I wish I could blog again. I do miss sitting down with this old friend. It's not only therapeutic, but the best way I know of recording our lives. But, alas, life must be lived and little time or energy is left at the end of the day it seems.

So here's all that has transpired in these last few months:

1) We just finished our first 9 weeks of school. We are LOVING Classical Conversations and the depth and scope of the program. I already feel that the kids have learned more grammar (my weakness) in this first section than I would teach them in a year. I'm especially excited to see how this program plays out for my younger ones who will get the information up to six times over the course of grade school. The burn out on homeschool that I was experiencing at this time last year has dissipated. What an answer to prayer.

2) Having a high school student keeps me hopping! Hannah just finished volleyball season and begins 4 months of basketball next week. It is so rewarding to watch her spread her wings a little farther balancing heavy a academic load, new friends, sports, church activities.... Even if I'm just in the stands watching, I don't want to miss a thing! It's been painful at times, yet she's figuring it out. I'm so thankful for our relationship and that she remains open with us. Having her dad at school and as a teacher is just an added bonus. In fact, many nights we have to kick her out our room after talking so we can get some rest.

3) Lydia, too, is finding her way through 8th grade. We couldn't be more pleased with the school she is attending. The respect that is displayed there between students and teachers and visa versa is profound. We purposefully placed her where Hannah had not been. It's got to be hard being 13 months behind your sister and so completely different. We didn't want her to have to struggle with comparisons. She's working really hard and applying herself like never before. There have been a lot of tears, but also a lot of growth that could not have come otherwise. She even tried out for the volleyball team and had a great time!

4) My sister and I held our second consignment sale last month. There's something about having a business that I really enjoy. I love the planning and casting the vision for what is to come. More than that, though, I believe in what we are doing and am excited for others to benefit. Working closely with Barbara has only added to the blessing. We are a good team in that we are alike and different in just the right ways.

5) On the homefront, I feel like I'm loosing control of my house. Nothing new there. I began painting and rearranging the rooms downstairs. This has been an ongoing project which now leaves us with practically nothing to sit on and many other chores undone. Why is it that any extra home projects always spill over into chaos everywhere else? I'm rereading some books and looking for a routine to rein this mess in. I'm open for suggestions.

6) It's finally feeling like fall here. I'm going to my college reunion next week with my roommates and favorite girlies in the world. Can't wait! I'm also very much looking forward to this season of Thanksgiving and hosting our families again. God certainly has given us much to be grateful for.

First Day of Homeschool 2011

2011-08-10T13:31:00.007-04:00

We had a great first day getting organized and oriented to the year ahead. Our school is down to five now as Lydia will be attending a local private school for 8th grade. Being that this is my 10th year of homeschooling, we decided it was time for a change. The curriculum has become increasingly eclectic through the years and thus increasingly complicated for the teacher. Therefore, this year we will be streamlining and participating in Classical Conversations. We are blessed to already know many of the families in the group as friends. I think I'm the most excited since I know what great things are ahead!

In attempts to make our first day extra special, we started with cinnamon rolls for breakfast. Then we sat down and we came up with the "school rules". We each contributed one. Not much changes from year to year, but I always love the way the put things in their own words.

1. Don't cry. Either ask questions or get some help.

2. Don't interrupt mom.

3. Obey the first time.

4. Put away your books every day. If you can't find a book, you owe mom a dollar.

5. Ask for permission to use the school art supplies so they don't get lost. (That was mine:)

6. Drink a bottle of water while you do your school work.

Next, we brainstormed some snack and lunch ideas and field trips. We discussed the daily schedule, too. Though it can't be the same everyday, we strive for routines.

Since we are going to be referring to a lot of timelines this year, the kids made their own timeline of their life starting with their birth and spanning into the future. Here's what they created. I think I'll keep these precious papers for a very long time.

Miriam, 6th grade. She's not thrilled about being the oldest this year, but honestly I'm looking forward to spending some time with this special girl.

Elizabeth, 4th grade. I love the way that she thinks in pictures.

Joseph, 3rd grade. He even included the date for when pictures of Pluto will be transmitted back to Earth. Who knew?

Rebekah, 1st grade. How could my baby girl be a first grader already? She's so ready and very excited!

John, PreK. I love the picture of him being a doctor when he grows up. He loves to help people especially when they need a bandaid.

Finally, we spent some time making up our own, pocket sized dry erase assignment sheets. This will be just a quick check list of daily responsibilities on one side and school assignments on the other. They had fun picking out the clip art and fonts. It became a little lesson in computer skills.

Wings to fly: Finances

2011-08-07T12:08:00.003-04:00

How can it be that I'm a mom of a high school student? This seems nearly impossible since I, myself, just graduation from college. And yet, it is reality and I am actually excited to see what lies ahead as my older girls start to spread their wings. At the same time that Hannah goes to high school, Lydia will beginning a journey of her own. Her first school year outside of our home. They are ready and for once, I think I am, too.

When I consider that in four short years our oldest will be entering adulthood, I'm struck by all that still needs to be taught from our end as parents. We decided that the Freshman year we are going to be focusing on teaching our kids to budget, earn, spend, save and give wisely. The truth of the matter is that these things have to be learned through experience and practice with room for error. What a better place to learn that while still at home and early enough to get a firm grasp on it.

I can in no way take credit for this idea. I read it in a book last spring and thought it was brilliant. With some tweaking here's what we are doing:

1. We each made up a budget separately considering all of the out of pocket expenses that she incurs throughout the year beginning in August. Her catagories included: giving- tithe, gifts, clothing- necessities and wants, school- fees, supplies, lunches, sports- uniforms, camp fees, participation fees, game snacks, books, fun money. We encouraged her to research cost and try to think of every single thing that she might need money for and the real price.

2. We went out to lunch and had a "budget meeting" to compare. We had very similar categories and bottom line. After some small adjustments we signed it into agreement.

3. Sean and I are going to provide 80% of her budgeted needs in 2 payments (August 1 and January 1). She will be responsible to work, plan or readjust her budget for the remaining 20%. Each year of high school our provided percent will decrease and her responsibility will increase.

4. Now she is on her own to organize and keep track of where her money goes. We promised ourselves that we won't bail her out if she gets in a pinch. This will be a lot easier for me since at least I know that she has a roof over her head and food on her plate.

We've made it clear that although she has her "own money", we still are the parents and have the right to veto any purchase (specifically inappropriate clothing). Also, she has agreed to spend this money on the things specifically listed in her budget, so there will be no hoarding it back and then announcing a Spring Break trip to Florida. Truly, I wouldn't imagine these things happening. She is very sensible, but sometimes it is good to just get it all out there.

The younger kids have been watching this whole process carefully and are starting to take ownership. Miriam and Betsy are having some friends over for a sleepover next week. They went to the store with me to make out a budget of what they would need for rootbeer floats, crafts, candy, batteries for flashlights. They found some work to earn money and went back a few days later to make their purchases. They didn't even want me to walk with them in the store or help them through the checkout.

Overall, I'm looking forward to no unexpected costs creeping into the family budget, but yet I am also realizing I need to do some planning and extra shifts of my own. We are going to be shelling out a lot of cash here in the near future.

Home Again

2011-06-28T07:36:00.005-04:00

Someone mentioned to me this week that it takes half as much time as a person is gone from home to get back into the routine. What a true statement. We've been home from our vacation a week now and I'm still trying to put life back into the order. We got an unusually amount of rain while we were away and the yard, tree and beds resembled something from the amazon.

Vacation was in one word, WONDERFUL. It was worth every effort and sacrifice to get there, that's for sure. My favorite part by far was just being together. No outside obligations. No deadlines. No interruptions. No schedules to juggle. Just being us.

This trip was particularly meaningful to me as it is the last summer before our oldest goes to High School. Our family's schedule is about to go to places never before seen. Four more years and our first child will possibly be leaving home. Time is more precious now than ever.

It filled my heart to see all of the kids playing together and relating to each other in their own different ways. A walk on the beach. Digging together in the sand. Playing pool games. Riding bikes. Reading books aloud at night. Talking for hours in the back of the van. Laughing. I am sure that our youngest will remember this vacation as a special time with their older siblings.

Another highlight for me was when my parents visited for a few days. One of my favorite childhood memories was when my dad took in me in the ocean for the first time and we played for hours. He was like a kid out there, as side of him I hadn't seen and yet endeared me to him even more. Twenty five years later it was just as much a thrill for me.

My mom and I had time just to talk and talk and talk. I always learn so much from her about what it means to love my children, so I am always so inspired after I've had some time with her. It was a special treat to do our talking with the waves lapping at our toes and drinking iced tea while watching the kids play.

On the way home we enjoy the hospitality of Sean's long time friends and fellow math teachers, Jim and Jane. They live in Georgia on a beautiful lake, which the children enjoyed after 10 hours in the van.

Here's the last set of pictures from our trip.

Crafting

2011-06-14T20:42:00.006-04:00

The past few months I have enjoyed crocheting these hats for young girls and infants. I have not been pleased with any of my crocheted flowers and gave it up until now. I was inspired by some silk flowers I saw in a boutique and decided to create my own. What do you think?

2011-06-14T20:42:00.001-04:00

Happy Birthday, Elizabeth

2011-06-14T20:23:00.004-04:00

Elizabeth,

You can't be described in just a few words. From the day that you were born 10 years ago today you have shown yourself to be a girl who walks her own path. One would think that a girl who had three great older sisters would follow along in their shadow. But not you. You have your own style, your own ideas and an imagination that just keeps going. I love that about you.

Tonight as we ate your cake everyone shared what it is that they love about you:

Lydia: "Elizabeth is joyful. She always is smiling."

Hannah: "Betsy is friendly and always welcomes all people no matter who they are. She is also cheerful."

Joseph: "Elizabeth is wise. She always steps in when there is an argument and helps me get out of it. She my friend."

Rebekah: "She reads to me and likes to spend time with me and play with me. She makes my life fun."

John: "I like her hair and her face."

Daddy: "Elizabeth is friendly and smart. She brings others into our home and makes them feel welcome."

Me: "Betsy always thinks about others before herself. She's an example of living selflessly. She also is a quick learner and excited to learn something new and teaches her brothers and sisters."

Miriam: Well, Miriam just cried. Eventually she was able to say, "Elizabeth is my best friend and I love her so much."

I hope you know what an impact you've made on all our hearts in just these first ten years, sweet girl. Our lives are incredibly blessed because you are here.

I love you and can't even begin to imagine where God will take you in the next ten years. I can already see glimpses of a beautiful young lady shining through.

Love you, forever,
Mom

How we got here

2011-06-02T13:08:00.004-04:00

We just arrived in Cape Canaveral, Florida, to enjoy a three week vacation. We left as close to the end of school as possible and drove through the night to get here. I've been reluctant in many cases to tell people about our time away. Saying it seems a bit excessive. Three weeks? A family of nine? In a beach house?

Three years ago we were blessed with a similar opportunity through the Lily Teacher Fellowship. We never even conceived of such an idea on our own. As a long shot, Sean applied for this grant which would enable our family to live in Florida for a month, enjoy the local library and rec center, attend family Space Camp, explore Kennedy Space Center in detail and take in all the nature to our heart's content.

I think it is fair to say that experience redefined what vacation would mean to our family. Being able to stay in one location for an extended period of time allowed us all to step away from the pressures, busyness and dailiness of life to connect and grow closer together. At home our lives are very busy and if any of you know Sean and myself personally you know that the work never seems to stop. While we certainly did not lay on the beach everyday, but we did play together, explore and make memories. It was incredible.

Two things have happened since our last trip here, Sean has begun working for Texas Instruments traveling around the country providing instruction for other teachers. This means that much of the summer he is coming or going. No more lazy days of summer for this teacher. Secondly, we became serious about budgeting/saving with the intent that we could repeat our last trip on our own dollar. In fact, it was in the Cape Canaveral Library that I read Total Money Makeover for the first time and we laid out a plan to get out of debt. Please note that we aren't in a perfect place financially. It's a journey with many detours. But we were convinced with some ingenuity we could provide this vacation without incurring debt.

Knowing that this is the last summer for our family to be without a high school student (practices, jobs, camps, obligations,earning money for college...) and realizing that the youngest ones had no recollection of our last vacation together, we decided last August to start working and saving for a three week get away. Everyone was excited at the thought of returning to the same place. I thought that it would be a little easier to set aside the money, but found out otherwise in December when my hours at work began to be cut. Sean's extra work has become a necessity so we had to get a little creative.

Here's how we did it. I hope it will encourage you to dream big for your family and consider how you might work together to meet a goal.

1. We cut back on weekend trips and field trips this school year. No overnights in hotels- we just drive through the night.

2. We sold baked goods whenever we had a chance- garage sales, events at Sean's school, other people's garage sales.... (Actually, I think that my own kids probably raised half of the money themselves when I told them they had to pay $.50 like everyone else.) We used coupons and sales to buy premade cookie dough when possible to cut down on the cost.

3. We had a fall and spring garage sale. We earned several hundred dollars through these sales just from stuff we had around the house and really didn't use. We also sold our no longer used books/CDs/DVDs to Half Priced Books. A little bit here and there adds up over time.

4. We kept a jar and saved every bit of change we could. Last week we rolled almost $300 in coins.

5. We held "Babysitting Saturdays" at our home. This was a family effort in which we opened our home to kids from 4-7:30 on selected Saturdays, had a structured play time, craft and a light dinner. My younger children thought this was the best thing ever to have so many playmates over at once. I'm hoping the older girls continue this business on their own. It was a hit!

6. Sean had two regular tutoring jobs throughout the school year. We held back the checks and cashed them all right before the trip just to make sure the money didn't slip through the cracks.

7. We bought our gas on a gas card that gave a 5% rebate. I'm not a fan of credit, but I am a fan of rewards. As you can imagine, gas for a 15 passenger van is a huge expense.

8. We bought and cooked most of our meals in Indiana, froze them and hauled them in coolers. Prices are much higher here and it's a relief to know dinner is already made (from meat that I bought on sale.)

9. We cleaned houses. The older girls and myself put ourselves out for hire to do any job or project inside or outside. Usually the people had a list and we worked our way through it. We charged $30/ hour and stopped when we were told.

10. God provided- a generous thank you gift from a student's family, a bucket of change from a family member, gift cards, an unexpected refund check.

Was it worth it? I think the picture says it all.

It's so much fun to see the boys explore Kennedy Space Center. John really thinks that he is going to go up in a rocket.

White Walls

2011-05-01T17:03:00.003-04:00

I have just begun reading Counterfeit Gods by Timothy Keller have already been convicted of some hidden idols in my life that are hovering around in the corners. No, these are not small wooden icons or elaborate golden statues. These are the things, ideas, people and activities that I elevate to a place that is only the Lord's. I bow down to them with my affections, time, energy and hope. Many of these are seemingly harmless (oftentimes good) pursuits. Yet, No matter how I dress them up, when I have reserved for them the special part of my heart and mind that I've devoted to God, they are idols. Counterfeit gods.

Today in church our pastor told of his recent travels to Japan where he taught some theological classes there. One Japanese man was excited to share his conversion story. He told of the first time that he walked into a church. He stood and the doorway and was astounded by what he saw. It sent a chill down his spine and changed his life forever.

A white wall.

Ahead of him was a worshiping congregation of believers with nothing before them but a white wall. This man knew then that he had found truth.

Being from a background of Buddhism, idol worship was all that he had ever known. He knew enough to know that a mere statue could not save. His encounters with God had been littered with idols. This freedom from idolatry that he witnessed within the church was what led him on his road to Freedom.

When people see me I want them to see nothing but white walls. May there be nothing in my life to hinder the Truth from going forth.

I've got a lot of cleaning up to do and I'm only on the first chapter.

Tough Love

2011-04-25T11:40:00.003-04:00

Blessed is the one
who does not walk in step with the wicked
or stand in the way that sinners take
or sit in the company of mockers,
but whose delight is in the law of the LORD,
and who meditates on his law day and night.
That person is like a tree planted by streams of water,
which yields its fruit in season
and whose leaf does not wither—
whatever they do prospers. (Psalm 1:1-3)

They will be called oaks of righteousness,
a planting of the LORD
for the display of his splendor. (Isaiah 61:3)

Watching our children wade through the murky waters of teens is difficult. They are not perfect, nor am I. They are searching for purpose, direction, and identity in a sea of peers, expectations, new experiences, youthful desires. Their thinking is not always logical. Their decisions are impulsive. Their emotions run ahead of them.

What do I do when what initially appeared to be a childish decision has become a consistent part of their character? Am I to blame for not being persistent or jumping on it sooner? Could I have pursued another route or have I failed to see the heart of the problem too late?

If they were a toddler, the answer seems obvious. Immediate consequences. Restoration. Try again. With some young children the lesson is quickly learned. With others the reinforcement day after day is required, but with consistency and unconditional love it is received in time.

I am not willing to let our teenagers raise themselves. The world would be more than willing to scoop them up and carry them along. But I will face the conflict and the hurtful looks if that is what it takes. I will be the bearer of unwanted discipline and wipe away the tears if that is what is required. I will stay up all night and pray and repent of my own sin as it glares back at me. I will trust and stand of God's promises of fruitfulness, peace and life for those who follow Him.

Christ did not leave me in my sin to please myself. He reached down. Called me. Saved me from myself. Walks with me through this life. Molds me. Shapes me. Disciplines me as only a Loving Father can. Restores. Redeems. Rejoices over me.

That's tough love. That's what I'm living.

Another Update

2011-04-22T08:26:00.004-04:00

Someday I WILL write again. I think that someday is soon since we are headed into our last two weeks of school! I will reflect on that when it's actually over. For now we are doing a year end review. I've never done this before and I'm not quite sure why since it has been a huge hit with the kids. I am pleased with what they have retained. I am also finding that with this review time some missing pieces are falling into place. I have big plans for opening our time capsules and one last surprise field trip.

Here's a wrap up since I last wrote a post:

1. As of this week, Hannah passed her concussion test and has re-entered the world of active 14 year olds. We are thankful each and every day for God's care over her life and this recovery process. I find myself thinking a lot about our soldiers and the thousands each year who sustain traumatic brain injuries of various degrees. There is so much more to the healing processes for patients and families than I ever imagined.

2. Though things at work remain slow for me, my sister and I are blazing a new trail. We have started our own consignment sale business. Our first event is in a few short weeks! Our prayer is that we will be able to serve our community and bless our families in the process. We are still in the beginning phases in so many areas, but I have very much enjoyed the process and look forward to growing our business.

3. Since I last wrote, Joseph turned 8! How could this be? As is the tradition in our family, he had his first sleepover party. He chose a Star Wars Lego theme. Being that this was our first boy party, let me just say that we weren't at all prepared for all the noise and activity. It was SO much fun.

4. I've been reading here and there when I can. The books by my bed are always an indication of what is on my mind and stirring in my heart.

Organizing from the Inside Out
Still Alice
Hamlet's Blackberry
Lots of books about Word Press (which have not helped me much)
Lots of books about small business
Friendship for Grownups
Do Hard Thing: A Teenage Rebellion Against Low Expectations

5. Raising teens reveals to me a lot about myself. More that ever I have to ask for moment by moment wisdom not to be reactionary, but to be intentional in the words I chose to speak. I fail more than succeed in that. My tendency is to avoid conflict, but when I realize we are in the last stretch of parenting at home this it is not an option. There have been many difficult, late night conversations as of late. That is all I want to say about that.

6. We are anticipating an early summer family vacation. The day after graduation we are headed off to Florida for three weeks. We've spent this entire year saving our change, working extra jobs, setting aside gift cards/gift money, selling what we don't use/need to make this happen. We aren't going there for a big adventure (though I'm sure some will present themselves), but rather just to be together as a family and enjoy one another. After this summer we'll always have children in high school and we suspect that an extended time away might never happen again. The younger two have little to no recollection of our last time in Florida, so they are especially thrilled to be going to the ocean. We are returning to Cape Canaveral beach and staying in the same house as we did three years ago.

7. Last, but not least, with encouragement from my neighbor I started the 17 day diet back in February and for the first time since John has been born (4 1/2 years) I have been losing weight! She loaned me the book. I read it in one day and have been losing weight slowly but steadily ever since. For whatever reason this diet speaks to my body in such a way that it is actually cooperating. True, there is discipline involved on my part. Let me say, though, that it is ALOT easier to be disciplined when there's a reward at the end.

Life as I know it

2011-03-12T08:19:00.003-05:00

I'm looking at my calendar this morning and amazed at the difference. The past two months have been packed with activity. Perhaps not such a bag thing in the middle of winter. Our lives have been consumed by basketball, it seems. It's a good thing that we enjoy the game so much. I think the younger kids may have a different opinion, though. Recently, I pulled up to a building that looked like a school (it was actually a church) and John began to cry, "No mom. No basketball." They've been troopers.

As I look ahead the days seem much clearer. I'm envisioning working in my flower beds, reading on the porch, going to the park after dinner, riding bikes with the kids with an occasional interruption from the calendar.

Though I've personally been busy balancing the lives of the nine of us, this has also been an important season of growth for me. Though I haven't been blogging along the way, I want to share these things as a matter of remembrance and reference as to what God has been teaching me.

1. Joining the ranks of so many hard working Americans, I've experienced firsthand the effects of the recession. The hospital where I work has had to take important measures to cut down on extra staffing and expenses. As a result, my hours have been cut at least by half. I'm still technically on the schedule, but getting called off an hour before work is the norm for me. This has resulted in a mini midlife crisis for me. Is God closing this chapter of my career? Should I wait it out or look elsewhere? Am I to take a different road altogether? Maybe it is time for me to stay home completely? (Believe it or not, I've found balancing work with older kids somewhat more difficult than when they were younger.) At this point I'm still asking questions and waiting for answers.

2. As a result, I'm back to working hard on our family finances making every. single. dollar. stretch. We've been here many times before, but not with these high prices and big, hungry kids. As in all things, God is faithful and we are so fortunate for all that we have. Whenever I am discouraged, the Lord meets me right where I am. It could be a new pair of shoes passed on to one of the kids, or a gift card given as a thank you, or a great sale and just the perfect coupon, or a free promotion at the kid's favorite restaurant. Those kinds of blessings are often overlooked when we are living more comfortably. The fact that I'm teaching Dave Ramsey's homeschool curriculum to the Junior High class this semester has been a timely encouragement as well.

3. Sean took me to San Antonio for my birthday in February. He had a conference and I completely enjoyed the time away where the weather was warm and I had time just to be. I got yet another glimpse into my husband's life. It was an international conference so his teacher friends from all over the world were there. It was a pleasure to be introduced. One of the highlights of the trip was meeting up with a long time friend from college, Diana. She and her husband are missionaries in Mexico. I hadn't seen them since they were married ten years ago. Don't you love it when you can just sit down and talk for hours like no time has ever passed since you last met. It was a precious time of sharing our hearts and lives. Precious.

4. While we were gone on our little trip, Hannah sustained a concussion during a basketball game. This is perhaps one of the hardest things I have experienced as a parent. I wasn't here. I couldn't have prevented it, I know that. But our girl was hurt and has suffered ever since. Her physical symptoms have lingered (nausea, sadness, dizziness, fatigue), but the mental symptoms have been the real setback. She is now undergoing testing which measures her brain's ability to comprehend and process information, remember and problem solve. Last week's test showed her to be at the low end of "below average" and at 2% in another area. It has been a very real reminder that life is fragile. With physical and mental rest this past week, we've already seen marked improvement in her behavior. She will be retested every two weeks until her scores reach acceptable levels. This unexpected trial has resulted in many conversations about the whys and the what ifs, yet all the while realizing God's protection in it all.

5. This fall I returned to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship). This study has been a foundational part of my walk with Christ since our early marriage. However, once more babies joined our family and homeschooling came to the forefront, I stepped out in order to attend to these matters. This year I rejoined for the book of Isaiah and have been challenged and blessed on a whole different level. It's been a year of transition and growth for me. Without God's Word before me on a daily basis much would have been missed. What has Isaiah been teaching me? Listen. Watch. Follow. Trust.

Books

2011-02-02T21:13:00.004-05:00

I love it that many of my friends are bookworms. In college all of my closest friends had a literature bent. They would sit around and discuss characters, plots, themes... while I studied pharmacology and anatomy. Even now when we get together it is not long before the discussion turns to books.

I am also in awe of my friends today who have a love for words. I'm always encouraged when I read their end of the year lists knowing that they, like me, lead busy lives full of responsibilities. Their book lists quickly become mine and I'm encouraged to step away from the media and think for a while.

Not all of my friends blog the books they've read, but here are a few. Enjoy. I know I will.

Catherine @ A Spirited Mind

Heather @ Blackberry Rambles

Amy @ Kevin and Amy's World

If you have a book list or frequently review books, please leave me a comment. I'd enjoy learning about what you've been reading.

Winter Inspiration

2011-01-26T09:27:00.003-05:00

The flu has hit us hard this year. As of right now five kids have the fever, chills, coughs and aches. Hannah, who had it first, slept for nearly 48 hours straight this weekend and somehow has managed to go to school and play basketball this week.

Not that I'm glad for illness, but I was secretly ready for a little break. This time of year is our busiest it seems for activities out of the house- practices, games, lessons, co-ops, work.... We are really focused on our schooling. There's not much recreation going on, so one day just runs into the next.

Having to just stop in our tracks, cuddle up on the couch, read a book, take a nap or just hold each other is a welcomed change.

I know a lot of homeschool moms are headed toward burnout at this point of the year. It seems like the end is in the far future and the beginning was so long ago that it's a distant memory. The books are no longer new and the creative ideas have slopped flowing. And when school becomes a grind for the teacher, the students quickly follow suit.

I was encouraged recently to go on a homeschool tour. Some moms from our co-op traveled together to eachother's homes and shared our resources, spaces, and ideas. A lot of times homeschooling moms talk about their struggles and frustrations. It was nice to be encouraged in such practical ways for a change. I was really struck by how different each of our schools operate and yet how well suited they are for each family. It was clear to me that each mom has been gifted by God to give their children just what they need.

I used to feel the need to compare our homeschool experience to everyone else's. God has slowly been working on me and freeing me from these unrealistic expectations. Since that time I find such inspiration and motivation when I'm introduced to another mom's perspective.

So while the troops are recovering I'm going to spend my days digging in to these new found treasures. Hopefully, when we are back full speed next week we'll be able to plow right through until Spring.

Word Roots : A game in which the student builds a city building their vocabulary and spelling skills

Time for Learning: An online supplementary tool with games, lessons and printables.

Enchanted Learning: k-3 printable and activities

Draw and Write Through History

Life of Fred A day in the life of Fred where he encounters math in the everyday. Written like a novel with a humorous story line.

Each Moment

2011-01-19T17:18:00.004-05:00

I am continually humbled by how God is using my teenagers to teach me more about what it means to live for Christ. Many a late night conversation which started as frustrated tears has ended with....

How will I know which is the best way for me to go?

Why do I keep making the same mistakes over and over again? No matter how hard I try I'm always back where I started.

Where do I fit? What am I good at? What makes me different?

I need my life to count for something- something outside of myself.

I want to do something important with my life.

I have struggled with these same questions and had to learn again and again that life is not about the destination. It's about the journey to get there. The shaping of one's character happens in the dailiness of life. The constant rhythms. The ebbs and flows. The unplanned detours. The subtle interactions. Relationships. Regrets. Lessons learned.

This week one of my daughter's classmates was tucked in bed for the night with the flu and went to be with her Lord for eternity.

This has spent my mom mind spinning in a million different directions. Much of my striving as a parent is to get my children to a certain point academically, socially, spiritually. A destination. It seems at times as though the clock is ticking faster and faster....

I'm convicted this night by my own words. Life is about the journey not the destination.

Were my words today kind and encouraging?

Does she know there is NOTHING she has to do to earn my love?

Did I look up and look into his eyes when he wanted to show me latest drawing?

Was I approachable or too busy to give affection freely?

Did I give my children the Truth today?

Tonight I'm thankful for another day in the life of my children. The privilege to walk beside them and be their mom is one that I never want to take for granted.

Good Bye 2010

2011-01-05T16:10:00.011-05:00

I admit it. I love January simply because it signifies the beginning of a new year. I'm one of those people who looks forward to changes and finds motivation in looking ahead. I'm not terribly sentimental about the past (except when it comes to my children). And I've always got a vision brewing in my head for what could be. In the meantime, decluttering, rearranging, planning and cleaning are in order for this month.

2010 in retrospect was a monumental one for our family. Hannah graduated from our homeschool to continue her education at a nearby private school. For the past 14 years we've been growing our family mainly within our home. Now the time has come to grow outward. It's been a change for us all, especially her siblings. Her presence is missed here, but she is flourishing in many significant ways. We are all SO proud and anticipating Lydia's move to private school next year.

These past two weeks of break have been the best yet. Sean was completely free from work responsibilities while I was able to clock in full time at the hospital. In between were many days of relaxation, family, friends and fun. What a perfect way to end 2010.

A long lunch with my college friends of twenty years. Priceless.

New games and lots of lego creations.

Dad time. I think the boys are going through withdrawal.

LOTS of sledding. My family dominated the hill.

Children's Museum

On the 31rst we finished using up our Summer Reading rewards. Two games of bowling, Laser Tag and Miniature Golf.

The wedding of our friends, Michelle and Jason, was on the 1st. We also treasured spending time with Jenny and Heather who were home from Africa.

Girls' Bedroom Makeover: Almost Finished

2010-12-30T09:35:00.000-05:00

The girls' room has been put together for a few days now and they love it! We decided to go with a soft gray since it was neutral and will be suitable should this ever become a boys' room. I picked up these three bedspreads last summer at Goodwill. I love the clean lines, yet whimsical patterns. A splash of pink never a girl, either.

Being that we needed to allow each child to incorporate her own personality, we allowed them to each pick their own color of sheet, bedside table and storage cube. Next we took some very ugly Goodwill lamps, applied some spray paint and custom decorations. Each lamp is so reflective of each girl. They also chose a black frame lined with some scrapbook paper to go above their beds. Now they can write on the glass a new message every day.

I think the room has become all that we wanted it to be. Simple. Grown up in places. Girlie. Easy to clean. Organized.

There's still a few things yet to be done. I found this great write-on calendar on clearance and then talked down the price further due to an imperfection (which I quickly fixed with a sharpie). I'm on the hunt for a medium sized coffee table that I can paint light pink to store more storage cubes under. It would be a great place for the younger girls to color and play.

This dresser is in need of a coat of paint and some love. It's been in the family for years and I think it's shape and scale are perfect for the room. The Goodwill mirror will hang above it. I'm debating about whether or not it should be painted as well.

Girls' Room Makeover: Part 2

2010-12-22T20:08:00.005-05:00

When it comes to kids' beds I've learned a few lessons over the years.

1) Beds are not only for sleeping but for storing trash, library books, legos, socks and anything else that may find it's way there by intent or by accident. In the worse case scenario even food might be discovered. Therefore, if a child is to truly clean under her bed it must be located away from the wall and be lightweight enough to move (preferably on her own).

2) A child will only be able to make their bed if it is achievable. Many pillows and sheets will deter any child from success. Therefore, a medium weight comforter is sufficient.

3) Children are naturally attracted to bouncy beds. Don't give them a box springs and suddenly the bed ceases to be a trampoline. Besides, I'd much rather spend the money on a better quality mattress than on and cheaper set.

4) Headboards bring out the artist in a child. It's not only a perfect surface for creating art work, but also for displaying other things like gum and stickers.

On my quest for beds I found myself drawn to this simple design. IKEA has several similar bedframes. This one ranges from $115-$179.

With the help of a handy husband, we made our own using this pattern. We bought the materials for the first bed at Lowe's for just under $50. Then we went to Menard's where the lumber was on sale and spent $40 for the remaining two beds. It took Sean about 2 hours per bed. Well worth the effort!

Girl's Bedroom Makeover: Part 1

2010-12-21T12:14:00.003-05:00

The three youngest girls have been waiting patiently for their time to have a bedroom makeover. It's hard to believe that it's been two years since we undertook the older girls' room.

We quickly learned with the older girls that because their bedroom was decorated, organized and just the way they planned it, they became unnaturally motivated to keep it that way. This quickly grew into a habit and now it is the rare occasion that I have to ask them to clean their room. Love it.

The younger girls need this sort of motivation more than they know. Though their room is large, they fill it up quickly. I knew it was going to be a challenge to blend their tastes as well as their dispositions into one space that would make sense for all of them.

Miriam, 10, is an ultra organized, easy to be around, athletic, no frills kind of girl. She likes to read, knit, listen to music and write.

Elizabeth is a fun loving, creative, vibrant nine year old. She likes to collect items because they hold sentimental value to her. She's kind of stuck between enjoying all the things a young girl loves and yet wanting at times to be more grown up.

Then there is Rebekah, 6. What can I say? I think that Rebekah would be happy to live in a box with a big stack of paper, markers, tape and scissors. She is always making something (and then leaving it all over the floor). This girl needs structure and yet room to explore and discover. She still has some dressing up and Polly Pocket playing to do, too.

Thankfully, I like challenges.

I've been collecting items since this summer and now we are in the construction phase. I regret that I can not find my before pictures of their room. Imagine this: yellow walls, multicolored flowered bedspreads and lots of stuff. I gave away their beds this summer to a family in need, so they've been sleeping on their mattresses on the floor since. It is definitely time for a change.

Winter Days

2010-12-12T20:25:00.005-05:00

As much as I would prefer to sit barefoot on my front porch sipping iced tea each evening while watching the kids run through the sprinkler, there are a few things I look forward to each winter.

Hot tea
Enthralling books
Quiet snow
Long baths
School delays
Time to imagine and create
Homemade soup
Basketball
Family and friends
Homeschooling
Cozy covers and a snugly Sean
Birds at the feeder
Bundling up the kids and sending them out to play

What do you enjoy most about winter?

A Little Tea and Dancing

2010-12-10T08:48:00.000-05:00

The other day I had one of those days when nothing went according to my schedule. I had planned to stay home with the kids all day and do nothing except attend to matters here. Alas, it was not to be. When I came home tired and harried, I found the downstairs cleaned up, classical music playing and a cotillion of sorts taking place. They had set up a tea party and were practicing their dance steps. They never cease to amaze me.

A New Season

2010-12-08T20:05:00.008-05:00

We have our second teenager in the house! Last week our Lydia celebrated her birthday and we swept her away for a few days to Nashville, Tennessee. As only God could provide, Sean had a conference at the Gaylord Opryland Hotel and Convention Center. It was the most amazing hotel I had ever stayed at and it was especially delightful to share it with Lydia.

The pictures don't do justice to the beautiful gardens and waterfalls.

We were talking on the way and realized the only time we've spent with Lydia alone was when she was born and then last year when she had swine flu which meant she couldn't stay at the grandparents with the rest of the kids. There just are not many opportunities like these when in a family of nine. But when they do come along, these times are especially precious to us all.

We spent much of our time working through Passport To Purity. Let me just say, this was much easier the second time around! It thrills my heart to enter into this next phase of our relationship as mother and daughter. I know how much I leaned on my mom for information and wisdom regarding relationships. Many a late night was spent talking in the dark car in the driveway. She was always open, honest and approachable. I want to be that for my girls.

I was encouraged this weekend to be more mindful to pray not only about the purity of my children, but about the purity of their future spouses. There are countless traps and obstacles young people face, for sure, but our God has not left us defenseless.

We had some free time to explore the hotel, swim, get pedicures, watch movies....

Our trip ended with a special dinner with Sean. He gave her a purity ring, a symbol of our commitment to pray for her and to help her navigate through these teenage years and beyond. And, according to her dad, she is to wear it every time she is with a boy she likes.

This girl loves her dad.

When we arrived home the kids could hardly wait to shower her with their gifts.

How can a young person stay on the path of purity?
By living according to your word. Psalm 119:9

Teaching One Another

2010-11-23T22:08:00.000-05:00

Perhaps one of the most enjoyable things about having children is observing their various strengths and gifts. I'm continually amazed at how different they are and yet how well they compliment each other. They are not perfect by any means, but learning to live and choosing to love each other in the midst of imperfection is what family is all about.

Recently, I picked up this book for $3 off the clearance rack. I had aspirations of actually engaging my kids through art. Little did I know what a treasure it would be! Within a few hours Lydia had all the kids involved in an art lesson. She was so encouraging every step of the way and the results speak for themselves.

Rebekah (age 6)

John (age 4)

Joseph (age 7)

If you give Monica a reason....

2010-11-22T20:55:00.004-05:00

(like 55 guests for Thanksgiving)

She'll HAVE to clean out the pantry....

There she'll make the earth shattering discovery that the dryer does in fact eat collar stays. Mystery solved.

Next, she'll empty the room and remember the flooring that never got finished.

She'll decide that instead of cleaning the worn out white vinyl, she'll just tear it all out.

Then she'll realize that she in fact does not have enough flooring and make the first of many trips to the store...

where she'll be told that this particular product has been discontinued.

No worries, because she'll figure out the next best thing and be satisfied with that.

But then she'll remember the can of paint her mom gave her....

and she'll have to paint the whole room.

After the floor is scraped and cleaned and mopped and primed...

she'll do the best she can to place the tiles.

Tired, though she is, she'll go off to work for twelve hours and return home to find that her thoughtful husband installed a new shelving system.

Now the laundry might actually get folded in this room instead of on the couch.

My Blog in Summary

2010-11-02T21:55:00.004-04:00

It is interesting to see this season of my life in words. The words used more frequently are larger while others seemingly fade into the background. Altogether they paint a fairly accurate picture of my life at the present.

It is convicting in to consider how the words I write and speak reflect my heart.

"May the words of my mouth and the meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, O LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer." Psalm 19:14

Just enter your blog at this site and create a word picture of your own.

Resources for Learning

2010-10-18T21:59:00.004-04:00

Recently I ran across a most useful website to supplement our learning at home. neoK12 is a collection on useful online videos, educational games and images. There is even an area where the student can create a report similar to a power point with all of the information right there on one site. Thus far, I've been impressed with the content and the amount of time saved since I no longer have to search the web for appropriate material.

It's great when one is learning about seeds, another about India, and another about light, I can point them to this site to explore and see for themselves. Besides that, I can "reward" a certain young man for his reading with a few short clips about asteroids. What could be better?

Living Life

2010-10-11T15:19:00.007-04:00

I think this is my longest stint without blogging. I often have ideas for posts, but no time or energy for the follow through. Life has been full and good. Here's a glimpse of our typical week.

Monday: While Lydia takes a Classical Conversations Class (composition, logic, government), the rest of us head to the library to complete school. Why is it that school goes so much smoother when we aren't at home?

I love teaching this boy how to read.

Timz Attack has revolutionized multiplication at this house!

Tuesday: John, Rebekah and I go to BSF (Bible Study Fellowship) in the morning and then everyone is off to a Homeschool Gym and Swim Class and then to an after school art class.
Wednesday: Home day. I usually work in the late afternoon at the hospital.

John keeping busy while we have school.

Thursday: Homeschool Group. I'm teaching this semester a class about the body to the first and second grade classes. Love it! I hope to post my lesson plans soon. Lydia has violin/strings in the afternoon.
Friday: Home Day. I might work or Sean and I try to go on a date.

We went to see my lifelong friend, Carrie, as Miss Hanagan in Civic Theater's Annie. She was MUCH meaner on stage.

Add into this mix Sean's travel,

Hannah's volleyball schedule,

field trips,

We took an overnight trip to Spring Mill State Park and the working pioneer village there.

Anderson's Orchard. The tradition is that whoever is small enough to fit on my lap gets to "drive" the car through the orchard. Always a highlight.

and various other things that come up...

Walk for Kaz. A fund-raising event that provided 100 beds to the orphans of Kazakhstan.

Me and my beautiful sister, Barbara. We joined Hannah's choir and saw the Broadway production on Mary Poppins.

After all of that now I don't feel so bad about not blogging.

Help has arrived

2010-08-25T07:21:00.007-04:00

About a month ago I had a breakdown in front of a complete stranger. I had just stepped on the scale at Weight Watchers and the lady looked up at me in all earnestness and asked, "What do you think you're doing wrong?"

In all seriousness, I had been in the program since May with a three pound loss to show for it. This makes no sense since I had exercised more this summer than in ten years and been eating mindfully. Up to that point I'd been chalking it up to pushing forty. The particular week I was crying like a baby because I had actually gained weight. Really?

I was feeling as though my own body was betraying me. But looking back now, I think I've been feeling this ever since John had been born four years ago. I never truly bounced back after having him. Not only had I not been able to shed those baby pounds, but my energy and motivation has been lacking. It was taking me quite a bit of effort to get myself out of bed each morning. I had no literally force myself to do anything physically straining. By the end of my 12 hour shift at work, I could barely focus my thoughts to give report. Physically, it would take me a day to recover.

A year ago the doctor confirmed a benign thyroid tumor which was drained. My blood work was normal, so no treatment was needed. I'd been putting of my check up until this unfortunate day at Weight Watchers. I was ready to throw in the towel, but with my sister's encouragement I went back for a check up.

This was really difficult for me to do. Being a nurse doesn't assure that I'm a good patient. I often am overdiagnosing my family and underdiagnosing myself. I was sure that the doctor would send me on my way without any help and I was reluctant to go there. More than anything, I didn't want to face the fact that I may be told this is my new normal.

But instead, she seemed surprised that my tumor is still there at all and quickly prescribed some medication. She's hoping that the medication will shrink it and relieve my symptoms. God answered my prayers for direction in such a specific way. In just a short five minute visit, I felt as though a weight had been lifted.

Three weeks later, I feel like a completely different person. It's as if I was literally walking in a fog. Everything seems brighter and more clear visually. I've lost this weird buzzing feeling that often keeps me from falling asleep at night. (This came on after having John and I was told that it was just exhaustion.) I wake up in the morning feeling truly rested, but if I have to wake up extra early, it doesn't take me an hour or two to get going. Even my nails (pronounced ridges) and hair are changing.

As for the weight loss, well, the jury is still out. I'm working at it hard, but I'm hopeful that now they'll be a return on my investment.

Just like clockwork

2010-08-19T07:20:00.004-04:00

Now I remember. It always hits me about this time every year and somehow I'm always surprised by it.

The reality of a homeschooling life.

The kids are diligent and eager. I hit the ground running. The days are flying by. We sit down in the morning to do school and before we know it lunch time is here. Then it's reading time, dinner preparations, errands, evening activities.... It's like putting on an old comfortable glove.

It's just.... the house and all the stuff it holds. When I'm attending to more important matters, I think little elf people come out to play. They drop a pieces of paper here and there, open a toy bin or two, get crafty, decide to look through ALL of the books on the shelf, decide to sort the legos but never finish.... I'm having a hard enough time keeping up with the dishes and laundry let alone putting out these kinds of fires.

*sigh*

I need a maid.

I need a better system.

I need some motivation and inspiration.

Anyone care to share?

Did I ever tell you about the time last year we ran out of the house one morning to go to homeschool group? Our house looked like it got hit by a bomb. Seriously. There was stuff EVERYWHERE. The breakfast dishes were still on the table. The kid's rooms were less than stellar.

When we pulled in, there was a sheriff's car outside. Terrifying moment. Inside was the sheriff himself. One of the kids had failed to shut the door and he was checking for "suspicious" activity. Well, he found it all right. I kindly declined when he offered to survey the upstairs. I'm just glad he didn't call CPS.

Firsts

2010-08-12T12:52:00.006-04:00

There are very few things changes in life that can be written on a calendar. Most of the time, change happens because new circumstances arise or things naturally shift a different direction. Sometimes change is so subtle that you don't even recognize it until much later.

But there are other moments in life that you can see coming from a mile away. You plan for it. You wait for it. You imagine what it will be like. You question if you're really ready. It a day that will stay in your mind forever as the day that....

A stepping stone
A fork in the road
A pivotal moment
A defining act

The day you were born
The day you moved away from home
The day you started you new job
The day you married

The day you first went to school...

The First Day of Homeschool

2010-08-09T16:20:00.006-04:00

Today we kicked off the 2009-2010 school year a little differently than in the past. Normally we dive right in so excited by the new books and materials. The first ten weeks fly by, but then the excitement wanes. The eyes aren't quite as bright and shiny. The teacher is less diligent. We stick to the schedule, though, and finish with a sigh in the spring.

Well, I'm not sure that all of that can be completely avoided, but I really desire to instill in my kids the desire to learn and take initiative as subjects become particularly interesting to them. Somewhere in the teacher's guides, schedules and outlines, we've lost an element of fun.

Here's some of the changes we'll be making. The older girls are moving to a computer taught math curriculum, Teaching Textbooks. Something tells me that the Mr. Roger's sounding voice explaining fractions is going to be much more instructive than the toe tapping mom. I'm going to be deliberate about integrating their subjects. Reading, writing, drawing... about their science and history topics. Also, we'll be blocking our subjects and not striving to do everything every day.

This year, much of my energy is going to be focused on reading with and to the younger kids. They are all on the verge of stepping up a level in their reading skills and I don't want to miss this prime time. Once a child can read, the world opens up.

We began this morning around the table with a pancake breakfast. It was fun to have Hannah with us. She'll be off to her new school in just two more days. We decided that we'd like to have breakfast together as a family before she leaves for school each morning. This will be a first, since we've always just eaten breakfast in shifts.

We spent the next hour creating something for a time capsule to be opened on the last day of school. Each page contained a drawing or written answer. The topics were: What are three things you are good at? A self portrait. What do you dream about doing? What will you do this year to improve in one area? They were really thoughtful. I'm looking forward to our end of the year party and revisiting the time capsule together.

Next, we went up the white board and brainstormed about the daily schedule, rules, chore rotation, quick lunch/snack ideas, field trips.... We organized the binders and books. I taught the older girls how to record their own grades on Homeschool Tracker, We determined the theme of the year to be, "Responsibility, Accountability, Independence."

And finally, we spent the afternoon at the Downtown Library. I taught (and retaught) some kids how to find books in the library. We left with some great resources to compliment the first chapters that we will begin tomorrow.

The consensus on the way home was, "Wow! This was the best first day of school ever!"

I agree.

Here they are. The students for 2010-2011:

Lydia- Grade 7

Miriam- Grade 5

Elizabeth- Grade 4

Joseph- Grade 2

Rebekah- K

John- Preschool

Worth a Look

2010-07-17T16:54:00.002-04:00

Today I came across this blog and was truly touched by the video there. If you have a moment hop on over and take a look. You'll be glad you did. I know I was.

Have a great Lord's Day.

I did it again

2010-07-15T23:04:00.005-04:00

Not one of my finer moments as a mom, but I once again left one of my children and drove away. Tonight after I got off of work we went out dinner. Leaving the restaurant Rebekah told Lydia to tell me that she was going to the restroom. All the kids were paired up and walking ahead of me to the van. John was my partner so we were moving kind of slow. When I got to the van I shut the door, turned it on and drove off.

About a mile down the road there was a collective cry. "WHERE'S REBEKAH!" With screeching tires I turned that tank around picturing my little girl's devastation when she realize we were gone. Joseph's prayer was, "Lord, help Rebekah have to poop so that we get to her before she sees were gone."

We pulled up to our little red eyed Rebekah with a great big cookie in her hand standing by an employee on the sidewalk. Whew!! After some long hugs she whispered, "I forgive you. Mommy, I'll never forget you."

On the way home (while the other kids retold stories of their past) I quizzed her on full name, her parents names and such. "Rebekah, do you know your address?"

"No. I know what the sign looks like. I know the number."

"What's the number?"

"Twenty five," she announced proudly.

Twenty five is the speed limit. I think I know the first thing she's going to be learning in kindergarten this fall.

Seriously?

2010-07-15T22:19:00.004-04:00

American Girls... what are they coming to?

Just what every doll needs- a raccoon in a trash can for a mere $28. I could set my trash can out in the yard with the lid off and get a live raccoon for free.

Or how about a plastic taco picnic. That would only set you back $36 or it could purchase some real people some much needed real food.

Every set of doll twins needs a double jobbing stroller. Forget that the same amount of money could buy a real baby a car seat.

Thankfully there's now a solution for those crooked doll teeth. Orthodontia. She never complains about wearing head gear at a sleepover and she certainly doesn't "accidentally" throw away her retainer in the cafeteria.

Life happens. That sums it up right there.

Medicine Bow Lodge

2010-07-12T21:54:00.010-04:00

Disclaimer: This is going to sound like a paid advertisement, but it's not. It's just the testimony of a family that had an incredible vacation.

We had the most amazing time in Wyoming at Medicine Bow Lodge. The entire experience exceeded our expectations. If you are considering a unique and unforgettable vacation, I cannot recommend Medicine Bow Lodge enough. Here's why:

1. Horses: We rode both morning and afternoon for upwards of two hours at at time. The horses are well maintained and each ride was an exploration of it's own- rushing mountain streams, aspen forests, pine forests, rocky byways and gorgeous scenes. We each had the same horse throughout the week and were well instructed on how to handle it. We also enjoyed a sunset ride and a day long pack trip.

2. Hospitality: We stayed in a cabin with adjoining rooms which provided us with both space and privacy. Each room had its own bathroom with a shower. The lodge, which is the perfect combination of rustic and cozy, is open to guests 24 hours a day along with access to hot and cold drinks. It didn't take long before we were on a first name basis with everyone and felt right at home. It even came with a dog, Katie, to pet.

3. Staff: The Bishop family owns and lives at the ranch along with their staff. These young people went out of their way to know our children's names and engage our family. I really can't say enough about their willingness to serve, work hard and make our vacation extra special. I think my kids learned a lot from watching these young adults working well together and having fun at the same time.

4. Food: I wish that I would have taken more pictures, but honestly I couldn't help but start eating each meal before I would remember to snap a shot. Each meal at the ranch is included in the price. The day always started with hot cinnamon rolls on the table to enjoy while breakfast was being cooked. Breakfast was made to order: pancakes, toast, eggs, omelets, hashbrowns, fruit, cereal.... Whatever we could dream up, they could make. Lunch and Dinner were always well prepared and well balanced meals. Coming straight from the kitchen and made from scratch, it really seemed like home (except I didn't have to make it and clean it up:) Two of our girls are gluten free, but this did not stop them from enjoying the food. The kitchen staff went out of their way to ensure that they could eat what they wanted. They even went as far as cleaning and cooking the fish that we caught.

5. Activities: There's more than just horses to Medicine Bow Lodge. We enjoyed the rope swing, playing pool, fishing, country dancing, a concert by the fireplace and pottery. These activities were just like icing on the cake.

6. Family: Unlike other dude ranches where riders are separated by experience or age groups, Medicine Bow Lodge allows for families to stay together. Their Lodge is based not on programs or schedules, but people, which is truly what sets them apart.

7. Faith: It is clear that the Bishops love the Lord and are devoted to serving Him. It was such an encouragement to see various family and staff members with their Bibles open over breakfast. Chapel services are offered on Sunday mornings as well. There is a genuine atmosphere of respect and peace that clearly stems from their faith.

8. Beauty: Traveling up the mountain pass to the lodge will no doubt take your breath away. But once at the ranch there is an incredible amount of beauty to explore and discover. The Lodge sits in the middle of Medicine Bow National Forest which covers miles of protected land. I personally enjoyed the rushing mountain stream behind the lodge and the very comfortable hammock.

9. Price: Okay, this is probably going to be the kicker for most people. We were blessed beyond measure to have received this vacation through the Kids Talk About God International Art Contest. However, considering that this vacation is all-inclusive the price bears itself out. Consider this: a week at Disney costs and average of $1000/person, an all inclusive family resort averages about $1200/person. Other ranches in Wyoming offer similar accommodations, but at a much higher rate. Medicine Bow Lodge is well worth the investment for an experience of a lifetime.

10. A true vacation experience: I can testify firsthand that vacation isn't always the most relaxing experience, especially for mom. Oftentimes a lot of energy is spent on planning, managing the budget, waiting in long lines and trying to get everything in during a week of vacation only to come home a bit haggard. This vacation experience was completely the opposite. It gave us an opportunity to experience the beauty of God's creation, a time to bond as a family while trying new things, and a chance to leave responsibility behind for a while. We left Medicine Bow Lodge truly refreshed and rejuvenated.

Horses

2010-07-05T09:56:00.011-04:00

Being that we are from the suburbs, none of us have had much exposure to horses. Sure, there's been the occasional birthday party or walk around the loop at Brown County State Park, but nothing like a few hours a day riding. These horses are taking us places that we couldn't get to by foot and that are rarely seen. We've each had our exciting moments which we've now lived to tell, but overall it's been incredible.

Tim, the ranch owner, has been our teacher and guide. He has the quiet strength that gives him command over these animals. He really knows them each not only by name, but by personality. We are all learning a lot about trusting the horse and taking charge without being afraid. I think that I'm really going to miss riding when we get home.

Miriam on Dollar

Hannah taking a wade with Murray

My jeans

Betsy and Stretch

Trying to line up for a photo. Check out that view!

Lydia and Geranimo

Me and Popcorn

On the Road

2010-07-02T18:22:00.003-04:00

We've had an adventurous two day drive to Wyoming. Although I do miss our little ones, I must say that traveling with big girls has been a treat. We brought the big 15 passenger van so each person has their own row. There was definitely some lounging, reading and DVD watching going on.

We are always suckers for that roadside sign that says, "Turn Here." In the middle of Iowa we couldn't resist the American Gothic Museum.

We reached our friends, the Baumgartners, in Clarinda, Iowa just in time for a late dinner and a walk around their cute, little town. It was such a treat to see their new home and the church where Jack is pastor. Spending time with them is always an encouragement. Miss them.

We enjoyed driving across Nebraska knowing that Medicine Bow Lodge was on the other side. Hannah sat in the front and quizzed me for my exam for several hours. That was so helpful, and now I feel a little less pressure to study on vacation.

Coming into Wyoming there was a sudden change in the topography. As we climbed into the mountains the views were breathtaking.

We're settled in now at the lodge. Today we've taken two long rides up mountains, in aspen forests and through a few rushing river streams. Amazing.

Oh, that boy

2010-06-30T01:40:00.004-04:00

I'm missing my little ones. Grandma and Grandpa have lovingly offered to watch them while we are away. I know that they will be well cared for and have a great time. But it's quite strange not to have those three in tow. I think each of the big girls shed a little tear as we drove away. What can I say? We love each other.

So tonight (or should I say this early morning) I'm remembering with a smile our sweet Joseph and his commentary on the dentist this week. He had to have two baby teeth pulled because the adult teeth came in behind. I paid the extra for the nitrous oxide. I don't want my boy to have dentist trauma at age seven. His perspective is one of a kind. Listen to this:

(On the way there) "Mom, are they going to give me a shot?"

"Probably. Does that worry you?"

"It only worries me if I don't get a prize from the treasure box."

The dentist came to tell me that all went well. In fact, Joseph had been done for some time. "I think it's taking him longer to pick out a toy than it did to pull his teeth." Yep.

(On the way home)

"Mom do you want to feel my chin? It feels like a big, fluffy pillow. He told me that it would last for two whole hours!"

"I felt like I was flying and my tummy tickled. But my hands were tingly. That was weird."

"I could hear it when he pulled my tooth. I could hear it REALLY LOUD in my ears. It sounded crunchy."

"You should have seen that dentist. He looked so white all over. That made me smile."

(At home)

"I do NOT like the way my face is buzzing! This is the longest two hours of my life!"

Join in and read what other kids are saying at Tiny Talk Tuesday.

A Give Away

2010-06-29T10:43:00.002-04:00

I'm having a give away over at The Full Table. Join in, you might win!

Taking a Breath

2010-06-28T23:05:00.005-04:00

To be honest, this hasn't been the most relaxing summer thus far. Summer used to mean staying up late to watch movies or read, slow moving mornings, trips to the library, kiddie pool play time, afternoon naps, evening tennis games.... This summer has been anything but this. It's been working on projects, cleaning, working some more, a family reunion, all day basketball camp, last minute schedule changes. Most of Sean's travel has fallen in June this summer, so I've been holding down the fort and trying to keep the plates spinning. I'm tired.

God knew months ago that I would need a break right at this moment. Later this week we'll leave for our dude ranch vacation. I really can't imagine anything better that being out in the open air for a whole week with no responsibilities, no expectations. I've never seen the West, let alone from the back of a horse.

I'm looking forward to uninterrupted conversations, reading, games, reconnecting, praying, silence and breathing deep.

So are the days....

2010-06-08T22:22:00.004-04:00

Oh, the blog has once again fallen by the wayside to family time and work commitments and summer days and reading books and enjoying the porch swing and exercising and facebook.....
and so is life for now.

But I can't go another week without joining in Tiny Talk Tuesday. So many of the kid's antics I forget, but here are some recent gems that keep me smiling.

Rebekah scared the wits out of me the other day when she pulled back the shower curtain and shined a flashlight in my face.

"Rebekah, WHAT are you doing?"

"Mommy, I know that light and rain make a rainbow. I want to make your shower full of rainbows because I love you."

Elizabeth came home reporting that our neighbor dog, Jack, jumped on her back. I overheard this conversation.
Lydia (12): Betsy, I think Jack was trying to mate with you.

Elizabeth (9): What does 'mate' mean?

Lydia: It means that Jack wants to marry you.

Elizabeth: But Jack's already married to the other neighbor's dog.

Lydia: Oh.

John was using his fork as a catapult for peas at the dinner table.

Hannah: John stop using your fork as a first class lever!

(You can only imagine how that made Sean smile:)

Summer Plans

2010-05-17T21:52:00.006-04:00

Now this is the kind of transition that I enjoy. No school and summer hasn't officially started. It's time to catch up on all those things that I've pushed aside, but need some attention. And I might get some blogging and reading done, too:)

It's incredible to me that the summer calendar is already filling up. Sean will be gone or working most weeks this summer. There's 4-H, basketball camp, family reunions, work, my IBCLC (Internationally Board Certified Lactation Consultant) exam, and the dude ranch vacation.

Between all of that I'm looking forward to some down time and some structured activities. Here's what's on our agenda:

-I'm giving the kids a reading list this summer. They can choose from either the Newberry Award winners or the Young Hoosier Book Award Nominees and Winners. I've already nixed some of them. I'm a mom. I censor.

-The summer reading program

-Kid's Bowl For Free will be great for rainy days or days that you can fry an egg on the sidewalk.

-We are going to be reading one Magic Tree House Book/Magic School Bus a week and doing some sort of activity around the topic for the younger kids. Lydia already completed the book on whales. She checked out books about dolphins and whales and really did a great job making learning fun for everybody.

- We are hoping to check out some state parks nearby and Park patch programs.
It's been a few years since we've done this and the program has changed some, so that should be fun. Maybe we'll even branch out and go camping.

- Some kids would do well to keep up on some academic skills, so I'm proposing a learning hour each day that we are home. This would be a time for some to play math games, spelling practice, Rocket Phonics and handwriting (somehow we ended up very weak on that this school year.)

And that should do it. I know that this summer is going to fly by as it always does.

What are your summer plans? Tell me, how do you keep your summers relaxed, yet structured.

Graduation

2010-05-13T21:34:00.007-04:00

Dear Hannah,

It has been the joy of my heart to know you not only as my daughter but as my student. I cherish each and every hour that we've spent together sitting on the floor, cuddled on the couch, working at the table.... I can still remember so clearly the night I stayed up to cut out squares and laminate them before your first day of homeschool. On each of these I placed all of the letters and from them you soon learned to spell and read. I really didn't know what I was doing, but you were so responsive and eager to learn. You've had to lebe flexible and patient often waiting for a baby to eat or me to carve out time for your questions. But through it all, you've proved to be a diligent, selfless, focused young lady really teaching yourself this past year. Watching you learn and discover has been my reward. I wouldn't have traded these years for anything in the world.

It's true that I'm going to miss you immensely. My mind I know that you will be practically across the street, but my heart knows it's a letting go nonetheless. I'm letting go of you proudly, Hannah, knowing that you are going to shine for Christ. I'm excited to see what new things you will try, what opportunities will arise and what you will learn about yourself in the process. You can be certain that I'll be your number one supporter with my arms open wide each time you return home.

Loving you always,
Mom

I had no idea

2010-04-30T09:58:00.000-04:00

When they asked if they could have some dish soap to make some bubbles...

Like Only God Can Do

2010-04-29T21:19:00.003-04:00

I remember the total exhaustion of having preschoolers and babies who required just about every ounce of me every moment of every day. Those days were never ending (literally). I would fall into my bed at night knowing that in three hours or so it would be time to start all over again. Diapers. Hugs. Walks. Tucks. Feedings. Baths. Bed changes.

Life was a predictable ferris wheel coming back around to show me the same scene over and over again. Yet, there was a sense of control on my part. I knew what to expect. I knew how to fix the problem. If something was not working, I'd surely have a chance to tweek the routine a bit. Then, I'd just jump back on the wheel and life would go along smoothly.

Life has changed a lot. That oh so familiar Ferris wheel has taken the form of a roller coaster. Each day is a series of ups and downs. Each child is taking their own twists and turns as they come into their own. It's no longer answering the cries of a helpless child. Now it's answering the hard questions as the tears fall. "When will I have a best friend?" "What am I good at? What makes me special?" "Who will I become?"

I've found myself being at a loss for words when faced with these all important issues. For some of my kids, the answers are evident. For others it's a journey that can be hard for me to watch. I want to give them the answers and point ahead, yet it is in journey that the answers are actually found.

So I pray. A lot. I pray for the grace to know what to say when these questions come pouring out. I pray that God's answers to come to them individually in His time and in His way. Sometimes it feels like I'm sitting on my hands. I have to stop myself from jumping in and fixing it my way. Surely I could manipulate the situation to make it a little less painful. I've tried that before and my solutions fall far short.

Today was a watershed moment for me as a mom. I watched as Lydia was awarded the opportunity of a lifetime. I stood in the wings and shed my own tears of joy knowing that this was an answer to a question that she's been struggling with this past year. It was God's answer to her. I had nothing to do with it.

Salvage Grocery Stores

2010-04-22T06:46:00.000-04:00

When we were first married and both full time students, we would not have eaten were it not for the salvage grocery. We were able to fill two grocery sacks for less than ten dollars each week. If you aren't familiar, this is the store where damaged boxes and cans are sold as well as items that are recently past the sell by date.

We were back in Tennessee for Spring Break I was thrilled to visit some discount groceries and find gluten free products on the shelves. For instance, Betty Crocker gluten free cake mix which normally sells for $4.49 was marked down to $.89. As you can guess, I bought them out of all of their cake and brownie mixes.

In our quest to eat a more whole and healthy diet, I assumed discount groceries would be out of the picture since they carry mostly boxed and processed items. Until... my friend, Jennie, pointed me to Angelo's Railroad and Truck Recovery. They have just begun carrying organic and gluten free items. Here's a sample of my first trip there as well as the regular retail price:

Que Pasa Organic Tortilla chips- 1.25 bag $1 vs. $5.71

Rice Dream 32 oz- $.50 vs. $3.99

Bakery on the Main Gluten Free granola bars $1.00 vs. $5.89

365 Organic Coconut Oil 14 oz. $2.89 vs. $6.99

Ghiradelli Organic 100% Cacao chips $1.99 vs. $6.00

Vans Wheat Free Frozen Waffles $1.00 vs. $5.95

Apple Gate Uncured Chicken Hotdogs $1.00 vs. $5.39

Trader Joe's All Natural Turkey Breast 7 oz $1.00 vs. $3.99

365 Organic Black Beans $.69 vs $1.69

Mother's Organic Rice Cakes $.33 vs. $2.95

Lundburg Organic Rice $1.08 vs. $3.99

Raw Agave Nectar $2.89 vs. $4.99

Free Range Organic Eggs $1.50 vs. $3.99

and my favorite purchase....

25 pounds of Breadshop Organic Granola for $12.50. This normally sells for $3.59/lb. I have been making our own granola and have had to become the granola Nazi in order to make it last longer. It's expensive to make and they can't seem to get enough.

I'm so thankful that have found this local treasure. By my estimates, we paid one fourth (if not less) of the price we would have spent retail. Some of these things I would not have purchased, but would have made from scratch. Most of these items, however, are on my regular shopping list. The kids were literally jumping for joy (especially the gluten free ones) at the thought of having convenience foods like "normal" kids. I was just as excited for them and for our grocery budget!

They keep me in stitches

2010-04-21T10:30:00.005-04:00

We were watching Little House on the Prairie and after much sweating and agonizing the neighbor lady gave birth. Ma came out and announced, "It's a boy!"

Rebekah: "How does she know if it's a boy or a girl?"

Joseph: "Well, there are two ways to know for sure. First, take off their clothes... and... you know. Or look at their hair."

Rebekah: "Oh."

What do you do with clearance Peeps? Roast them, of course.

We had a little family pow wow in the kids' bathroom trying to get to the bottom of who keeps plugging up the sink. After plunging and digging for about 15 minutes, Sean retrieved two marbles and a Clorox wipe from the pipe.

Sean: "Who knows what happened to the sink? Who knows the story?"

John (3): "There was a little boy...."

Sean: "What was his name?"

John: "Big John."

John went on to tell us all how the little boy somehow managed to stuff them all in the hole.

March 2010

2010-04-13T20:44:00.004-04:00

It's seems like a year since I posted, yet it's only been a few weeks. Sometimes life just gets in the way of blogging. So, in a nutshell, here's what's been going on in my world.

1) I'm finally recovered after a month long of illness that started with strep and ended with bronchitis. I almost made it to Spring healthy, but alas.

2) We said good-bye to our smaller van. Water in the engine is a VERY bad thing. We were fortunate to be able to use Sean's mom's car until he we got hit. The car was totaled, but he only sustained minor injuries for which we are thankful.

3) After much praying and asking the Lord for guidance, we were at a loss. In our commitment to live debt free, we were getting used to the idea of being a one-car family. I spent a Saturday morning crunching numbers and came home discouraged with the reality of it all. Within an hour we received a call from my oldest sister. She and her husband had been praying for a few weeks themselves. By the end of the week they delivered one of their cars to our home and sold it to us for $1. Neither Sean or I will drive that car without remembering how God provides.

4) We were able to spend Spring Break in East Tennessee in a cabin at the top of a very steep hill. We had a great time showing the kids where we used to live as well as completely reveling in the beauty of God's creation. It was just what we needed as a family. No schedules. No interruptions. Just us.

5) I'm enjoying a season of reading. This comes around about every few years. But I've got a stack of books by my bed that I'm digging in to. I look forward to posting a few reviews in the future.

6) We are in the home stretch for homeschooling this year. Some of the kids are finishing up their books already and getting extra time outside in this beautiful weather. I find myself getting a little more sentimental each day as Hannah approaches her last days of homeschool. *sigh*

A fine day indeed

2010-03-19T07:00:00.007-04:00

For the past ten months Sean has been working a second job. He's been contributing to the publication of a math textbook for Pearson Publishing that will be released for the 2010-2011 school year. This book is like nothing authored as of yet. It actually interacts with the students' Texas Instrument calculator which will contain practice exercises and problems that have been downloaded. This calculator is actually a hand held computer that does some pretty cool stuff. Sean's been programming and developing this calculator piece. It's been an amazing opportunity for him professionally and rewarding to know that it will be used to further math education for thousands for many years to come.

He's worked SO hard spending almost all of his evenings on this project. He goes to school at six in the morning and doesn't often go to bed until midnight. It's involved many conference calls, meetings and travel. As of yesterday, it is officially complete. Done. Finished. No more.

There was a collective cheer yesterday when I announced it to the kids. I'm so thankful that he's been able to work from home, but we've missed him nonetheless. We can't wait for evening basketball, Saturday night dates, projects around the house, spontaneous trips to the park.... Everyone agrees that life is much more fun with Dad around.

Yesterday, I picked Sean up from school and we went out for a celebration dinner, just the two of us. I nearly cried while sitting there. I'm incredibly blessed to be married to this man who has given so much of himself to provide for us. I'm incredibly thankful that God opened up this door to meet our financial needs. And I'm incredibly excited to turn the page and start the next chapter in the life of our family.

Getting Real

2010-03-09T19:44:00.003-05:00

I read these two posts today and sat crying at my computer. Moved. Convicted. Amazed. Both are stories of real life and real hope. I hope you are able to read through them.

Enjoying the Small Things

We Are That Family

One of those moments....

2010-03-05T21:12:00.004-05:00

Today we were sitting on the couch working together on Language Arts. Specifically, we were learning about adverbs.

I asked, "Looking at the word 'adverb', what do you think it is going to modify?"

The answers came tumbling out. "An adjective?" "A noun?" "The subject?" "A pronoun?" With each answer came more uncertainty and the tears began to flow.

"What is there to cry about? I'm asking a simple question. This isn't hard. What word do you see here?" I spoke back while underlining the word two times. (Obviously, I'm not a trained educator.)

"I just don't know what you want?! What are you asking me?!"

I had to stop and take a very deep breath. Taking off my glasses and rubbing my head I was stuck between feeling defensive and utterly defeated.

What have I done? What do I lack? How can I communicate any better? Why am I homeschooling? It's obvious that I'm not teaching her anything. I'm just frustrating her. I'm not good enough.

We directly closed that book and moved on to science. I was reading about the inner planets with a quivering voice. She quickly caught on (as did everyone else in the room) and there were many red faces and sniffles as I expounded on the clouds on Venus and the temperature on Mars.

"Mom, it's not that your a bad teacher. I'm just a bad learner."

That was like a knife in my heart. There were many hugs and soft whispers as I tried to reassure her that she is in fact amazing. She is gifted in so many ways and specifically made by God Himself to be unique.

As the tension lifted there was soon a giggle from across the room. Then a chuckle escaped from person hiding behind their book. Next the laughter finally broke through the tears for us all. We all agreed that there is certainly nothing to cry about when it comes to the planets.

Today I believe the was lesson for me, the teacher. More than anything, I was reminded that I daily need the Lord's help in shaping these young hearts and minds. I get so busy and caught up in getting it done that I forget to even ask for God's guidance. Homeschooling isn't about my capabilities. It's not about whether or not my kid "gets it" the first time around (or the second or the third). In the end, it's really has nothing to do with academic achievement.

It's all about a mind willing to learn, a heart ready to serve and a life that responds to the Truth. There's a lot more than Language Arts that goes into that sort of education- for the teacher and the student.

Tonight as I tucked her into bed we talked again about what transpired today. Her heart is still tender and the emotions raw. She is struggling to find her place, to know her strengths. I get that. I'm praying for the insight and sensitivity to steer her through these tough times as her teacher and her mom.

When I came downstairs to my bed I found a note on my pillow. It read, "I love you mom. You are a good teacher. A+."

I'm humbled by that sentiment knowing that I fall far short, yet, I'm thankful to know the greatest Teacher of all.

Living as Friends

2010-02-23T13:43:00.006-05:00

This video encouraged me today to think about how I interact with Sean. In the midst of deadlines, raising children, broken vans, daily work, familiar routines.... It's easy to forget that God has given us each other not just for partnership, but to make the dailiness of life a whole lot of fun.

Here is a couple married for 62 years who walked into the lobby of Mayo Clinic, saw a piano and did what they do best. It's clear how much they enjoy one another and love spending time together. I don't doubt that they learned that duet many years ago and have been practicing it ever since. After 62 years of marriage I want to still be walking together, playing together and bringing joy to others.

See the video here. You'll be glad you did.

You can also watch an interview of the couple. I think it explains a lot about how marriage can last 62 years.

Menu Plan Monday

2010-02-22T21:20:00.004-05:00

As you will see, I didn't exactly stick to last week's plan so some of these recipes are going to carry over. What can I say? Life happens.

Dinner

Monday: Roast with carrots and potatoes
Tuesday: Ham and Beans with Cornbread
Wednesday: Pizza and salad
Thursday: Chili, Veggie tray
Friday: Beef Pot Pie Filling over Gluten Free Biscuits
Saturday: Leftovers
Sunday: Cilantro Lime Chicken, Roasted Cauliflower, Broccoli Salad

Lunch
Turkey Burgers and Oven Fries
Nachos
Ham, Cheese, Crackers, Grapes
Chicken Fried Rice
Peanut Butter and Jelly
Omelets and Banana Bread
Leftovers

Family Worship

2010-02-19T07:55:00.004-05:00

I have been asked to post by several people about Family Worship in our home. Honestly, I've been a bit reluctant in doing so because I know of my own tendencies to compare myself to others especially in the area of spiritual disciplines. I would never want another person to feel unneeded pressure or to get the impression that there is a right or wrong way to teach the Scriptures in one's own home.

Let's admit it. Legalism is a real trap. We can get so caught up in what other people define as spirituality that either we live to please man or we never try at all for fear of failure. That being said, there is great encouragement that we can receive from one another as we seek to love God. That is my true intention in writing this post and I pray that is is received as such.

Why we do it.
1) God makes it clear throughout His Word that worship of Him is not segregated to Sunday mornings or church related activities. The spiritual instruction of our children is our clear responsibility. It is our privilege to walk beside them in the everyday and instruct them in the Lord's ways. Yet, in our culture there is a lot more running around than walking. We need to set a regular time apart to sit at His feet and learn together. We must be intentional.

2) On the flip side, we recognize that God does set apart teachers and elders to shepherd and lead us. This is His gracious gift to us. We don't have to navigate Scripture alone or face life without the accountability of a church family. The community of believers is a crucial in our walk through this life. Family worship can not replace corporate worship, nor visa versa.

3) It's a time of training that wouldn't happen otherwise- memory verses, songs, how to sit still, how to pray, discussing the Bible and asking questions.

Where we do it.
1) Usually we have family worship in the least messy room so that we aren't distracted by the stuff. Normally, this sends us to the living room couch.

2) Recently we've found it useful to end our meals with Family Worship and just to stay at the table. It seems that right after dinner there's the usual rush to get the kitchen cleaned and it's hard to regroup. Also, John is stuck in his chair and can't run away.

3) Location really doesn't matter. We have enjoyed Family Worship in the van, on a hike, in our beds or in the back yard on a warm evening.

When we do it.

1) Though it would be a great way to start the day, that's just not where we are at. So we normally have Family worship right after dinner. This is when everyone is present and nobody is so hungry that they can't pay attention.

2) On Sunday afternoons Sean usually holds family worship while I fix lunch. They often discuss what they learned at church or prepare their memory work for the evening service. Sean also reads to them from whatever book he is studying while they do quiet activities like Legos, drawing or crafts. On Sunday nights, he usually sits on the stairs and reads to them until they fall asleep.

How we do it.

1) Our time of Family Worship has three parts: Sing to God. Listen to God. Talk to God. It's as simple as that.

2) Sing to God. We are usually working on learning a Psalm to sing so we sing through this one as well as a request or two. This takes at most 5 minutes. Hand motions have always been a fun way to engage everyone. When the kids were all young and most couldn't read we would make a poster together with the words illustrated through pictures.

3) Listen to God. We use this time to read Scripture to the kids. We've read books of the Bible at times. We've also enjoyed The Children's Story Bible by Catherine Vos several times. Right now we are reading The Story of Stories: The Bible in Narrative Form. We don't normally open this time up for discussion, though questions are welcomed. Occasionally, we'll have one of the older children read. The amount of time reading usually depends on our schedule and how the children are doing attention wise. We shoot for 10 minutes at least.

4) Talk to God. We end Family Worship with prayer. Sometimes we share requests and have the children each pray. Other times it is lead by Sean or myself. Since prayer involves confession, talking to God together often results in healing of relationships and restoration. I particularly enjoy this time because it is often spent on our knees or prostrate. There's something very refreshing at the end of a long day to come to the Lord humbly in this way.

As you can see, there's nothing spectacular about what we are doing here. God has been faithful through the years to bless these few minutes of the day that we commit to focusing on him.
I know that God's Word is going out into all of our hearts and He will accomplish His purposes.

Fresh Flowers

2010-02-17T09:43:00.004-05:00

I'm not great at decorating. I never seem to know quite where to put things, but I do find pleasure in expressing myself through the atmosphere of our home. I like color. I like all things natural. I like to change things around. Nothing fancy. Nothing complicated. Just me.

If I had my way we'd live in the forest in a Frank Lloyd Wright home and God's creation would be all that we would need. But for now, I do my best to bring the outdoors inside. And what better way to do that then through the use of fresh flowers.

In our last home I painted a rectangle on the wall the size of a large frame in slightly darker shade. Then I attached picture hangers to 5 inexpensive bud vases and arranged these inside the rectangle for a three dimensional, one-of-a-kind, ever changing piece of art.

In this home we have textured walls. I've been missing fresh flowers and the way they instantly brighten up our day- until now. I had my favorite picture of the kids enlarged for our fireplace, but have been at a loss as to what to do for the rest of the decorations. Fresh flowers in staggered vases is the perfect solution. Last week it was red tulips placed individually in six different vases. For the next two weeks or so, it's these post Valentine roses that I'll be admiring. I look forward to summer when I can pick flowers for my own garden to display. Now all I have to do is figure how to hang this heavy frame.

Menu Plan Monday

2010-02-15T16:31:00.003-05:00

This is my first time to join in Menu Plan Monday. I need some inspiration to plan ahead and get organized.

Dinners

Monday: Brown Rice Pasta with sausage and onion sauce, Green beans
Tuesday: Turkey Burgers, Oven Fries, Fruit Salad
Wednesday: Ham and Beans, Cornbread, Baked Apples
Thursday: Fish Tacos, Fruit Smoothies
Friday: Shrimp Stir Fry, Egg Drop Soup, Pineapple
Saturday: Chicken and Noodle Soup, Blueberry Muffins
Sunday: Creamy Potato Soup, Broiled fish, Steamed broccoli and carrots

Lunches
Stir Fry Rice with leftover meat and veggies
Baked Potatoes with broccoli and cheese
Tostadas
Ham and egg wraps
Homemade chicken nuggets
Leftovers

The Days of Winter

2010-02-10T22:11:00.006-05:00

When winter hits, this is what we do.....

The Paparazzi at the Children's Museum

Rebekah hittin' the runway.

A little upholstery project. Aka, "Fixing the things that annoy me."

"Hey, look. We're cows tied together."

Entering an art contest

Betsy bundled up and ready to go

Little Indians

Elimination Diet: Final Results

2010-02-10T21:23:00.003-05:00

Not having ever considered food sensitivities until recently, I had no preconceived notions about what the Elimination Diet would reveal. Much of my information came from reading. Other information came from friends who have struggled through food allergies. It is beneficial to realize that each person's body is entirely unique in they way that they process and respond to food. It's not a simple equation, but rather a complicated balance that we've only begun to uncover.

At the end of it all, I believe we have found the main culprits to the symptoms that were bothersome. I'm fairly certain of this because after having completely detoxed the digestive system, these food in a small amount brought about uncomfortable and obvious reactions. They were immediately taken out and the symptoms haven't returned.

So here it is:

Gluten: Lydia, Miriam and possibly Joseph.
Refined sugar: Me and Miriam
Eggs: Elizabeth

I was suspicious of dairy, but everyone handled it fine as far as digestion goes. There was some stuffy noses and ears after its trial, but I'm uncertain if this was just the cold that was going around.

Where do we go from here?

1. Apart from sliced bread for sandwiches and flour tortillas, we will be gluten free in our house. This will make it so much easier to cook and serve the same foods to everyone. I have prebaked some gluten free goodies to keep in the freezer for those occasions when we will be going out and others will be enjoying deserts so that Miriam and Lydia can participate, too.

2. Refined sugars are a thing of the past. We'll be sticking with maple syrup, agave nectar, Truvia and possibly raw honey.

3. Elizabeth seems to tolerate eggs that are baked, but she will have to stay away from other forms of eggs. This should be easy enough.

4. Processed foods won't be brought it. I really think our overall health has improved significantly because the chemicals, preservatives and dyes are gone. Not as convenient, but we'll find our way.

And there you have it.

Elimination Diet: It is finished!

2010-02-09T07:40:00.005-05:00

After 10 weeks on the Elimination Diet our experiment has come to an end. It's really hard to put into words how this has impacted our lives. Much has been discovered about not only our bodies, but our personalities as well. Here are some of the highlights:

1. This is the first time EVER that I've truly controlled the eating environment in the house. If just wasn't here, so we couldn't eat it. (Well, actually it was all in the garage and way to cold to go out there.) This was probably the most helpful thing ever. If it's not here, it can't call my name to come and consume it. It's true.

2. I think we would all testify that we feel not just good, but healthy. High energy levels. Able to sleep well at night. Fewer winter colds/flu this year. Better skin. Stamina for exercise. More than anything, I believe this to be the absence of preservatives, chemicals and dyes in our foods.

3. GREAT progress has been made for those who were having sensory issues related to clothing. I don't think I can explain the battles that had been waged and tears shed over clothing, cutting clothing/tags, inability to sit still due to itching and scratching and general grumpiness. It was wearing us all down and I was at a loss as to what to do. Nearly three months later, the skin discomfort is gone. Jeans, turtlenecks, coats in the car are the norm. I never imagined a change in diet could bring these results.

4. The eczema, though not completely gone, is on its way out the door. The actual patches of inflammation are gone. The skin is still rough and cracked in some areas, but this is healing quickly. It certainly has taken its time working through her system, but we are hopeful that with diligence in time it will be a thing of the past.

5. There has been a marked improvement in spelling and multiplication retention. What once was there one day and gone the next is sticking. When she looked up at me the other day while doing math and asked, "8x6 is 48. Right mom?" I just about cried. She knows the answers, but is still lacks the confidence to know that she is actually right. We'll get there. What she has been trying to grasp for the past four years through frustration and tears, is now finding a place in her brain to stay.

6. We've all lost a healthy amount of weight without deprivation or a particular exercise program to the sum of about 50 pounds. But more than that, I believe we've been reset on what it means to be satisfied. It's not so much about quantity as it is about quality. Some of the kids were really a concern to me with the amount of junk food we could consume and constantly be asking for more. It was as if the stop button was broken. Perhaps this will be a recurring struggle, but for now it seems that we have been able to reset it.

7. We've grown closer as a family through this time. It's not always been easy, but it's been tolerable knowing that we were all in it together. Not many times are we asked to sacrifice what we could have to make it easier for another who can not have. This reminds me of the passage in 1 Corinthians 10:23-24. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"—but not everything is constructive. Nobody should seek his own good, but the good of others. I pray this time will bear fruit in our relationships with one another as we've lived this verse out.

8. Finally, each of us has learned something about our own weaknesses and resolve. There is something very powerful about saying, "No," again and again to little temptations. It builds up a muscle that is essential in resisting the larger traps. Temptation does eventually take a back seat. It's easier to walk away and turn towards what is good. Sure, this is useful for things such as diets, but essential if we are to grow strong in any area of weakness. I know Sean and I have grown so much in this area over the past three months. We pray that this is a spring board for our children to know that with God's help and accountability, they can say, "No," and choose what is best in all areas of life.

We set out to learn about potential food allergies and learned so much more! Tomorrow I'll post more about our specific allergy results and where we will be going from here.

I so appreciate all of you that have commented here on the blog or in person. Your support and encouragement have blessed us tremendously.

Some Deals

2010-02-03T23:07:00.004-05:00

Just thought I'd pass along these deals. February always seems to be a good month for this.

Through Friday Great Clips is giving $5.99 haircuts. I imagine that the wait might be annoying, but I believe you can call ahead and schedule a time. Just be careful and know that sometimes when it comes to haircuts, you get what you pay for.

In Avon and Plainfield Chic-fil-a is providing free breakfast every Tuesday this month!! A free entree for every person who comes inside or one per car.

Know of any good deals? Do share!

Do over?

2010-02-02T21:31:00.003-05:00

It's been one of those days that I wish I could live over again...

Instead of defending myself, I should have held her.

Instead of holding on to my agenda, I should have made the time.

Instead of lecturing, I should have instructed with gentleness.

Instead of responding to my disappointment, I should have opened up.

I can't live this day again, but I can ask for forgiveness.

I can call out for wisdom.

I can tuck her in with a goodnight kiss.

I can know that in these tough days we are both growing up.

I can thank God for another day.

It is because of the Lord's mercy and loving-kindness that we are not consumed, because His tender compassions fail not.

They are new every morning; great and abundant is Your stability and faithfulness.
-Lamentations 3:22-23

Happy Birthday, Miriam!

2010-02-01T22:55:00.006-05:00

Miriam,

We have had such a fun time celebrating your 10th birthday this past week. I know it must seem like daily you are having to step aside for someone younger or follow behind someone older than yourself. It was such a pleasure to have a day just for YOU. We did whatever you wanted to do, ate whatever you wanted to eat and just had the best time celebrating your special day.

Is it really true that you are now 10? How can this be that my bright eyed, fun haired girl has grown into a young lady so quickly? Oh, how I love being your mom and seeing you along every step of the way. You are a joy to my heart, Miriam, and to all who know you.

At breakfast we sat around eating pancakes and sharing about what we love about you. Here are the things that we mentioned. I wanted to write them down so that you would always be able to remember how much we adore you.

Joseph: Miriam is a good basketball player and teaches me how to dribble and guard and shoot.

Lydia: She is always open to other people's ideas and willing to try to do it their way before her way. I like that about her.

Elizabeth: Miriam always helps me and talks to me in our room at night. When I don't understand something I know that Miriam will show me. I need her.

Hannah: Miriam is almost always in a good mood. She is joyful.

John: (We couldn't really understand him, but I'm sure it was very nice:)

Rebekah: She's my big sister and I love her. She shares her room with me.

Mom: Miriam doesn't complain or act inconvenienced when asked to do something or when things seem hard. She sets her mind to it and does it with a happy heart.

Miriam, I am really excited to see all the God has in store for you in these next 10 years of growing up! What will you do? What will you achieve? What will you enjoy? How will God use your strengths and teach you through your weaknesses?

There is so much more life to be lived may you, dear daughter, live it well.

Happy Birthday, Miriam.

Loving you always,
Mom

Cheese, Glorious Cheese....

2010-01-25T08:37:00.005-05:00

This was the song we sang yesterday while we enjoyed dairy for the first time in nine weeks. It was nothing short of glorious!! We ate yogurt and milk at breakfast. Then at lunch we feasted on pizza topped with heaping mounds of melted perfection and homemade strawberry cheesecake ice cream. Afterward, everyone was satiated. No one asked for snacks before dinner. That in itself is music to my ears.

From the looks of it, everyone handled diary just fine. John had to go to the bathroom three times during church, so I'll be keeping an eye on him. We expected that Sean would have issues, but he did not for some reason. Of course, he knows not to drink a glass of milk straight out, so he just enjoyed the pizza and ice cream yesterday.

We are definitely in the homestretch. Red meat, peanuts and caffeine are all that remain. We are planning to celebrate Miriam's birthday on Thursday with some steak. That will be a special treat!

I've been collecting receipts and trying to learn how to be a wiser shopper. The bottom line is that is just costs more money to eat healthy and I need to learn to be okay with that. It seems backwards that foods with less ingredients are so much more, but it is the way our system works. As for healthy, affordable convenience foods these seem out of the question altogether. For example, a box of 12 small cookies costs $4.50. That's crazy!

It really has taken two months to figure out what the new normal is for our weekly grocery needs. Up until now, I'd found myself running out of food or missing that one important ingredient which would send me back to the store AGAIN. My plan is to weekly shop for fruits and veggies and stock up on what we need/what's on sale with the money that remains. This week it was paper goods, cleaning supplies and toiletries. Next week will be meat.

So, here's the shopping list for 9 people trying to eat without refined foods or artificial ingredients:

Aldi

9 pounds apples
24 boxes 100% juice
2 cans refried beans
2 cans black beans
Oats
3 Avacados
4 Green Peppers
8 Kiwi
12 Pears
1 Pineapple
1 bag celery
2 lbs carrots
4 cans tomato sauce
4 cantaloupes
6 8oz packages mushrooms
canola oil
cooking spray
2 bags tortilla chips
2 bags corn chips
Ibuprofen
Glass Cleaner
Sandwich Bags
Gallon Sized Bags
Disinfectant Wipes

WalMart

6 100% frozen juice concentrate
7 pounds bananas
Green tea bags
3 boxes rice chex cereal
2 packages rice cakes
1 large container organic yogurt
4 cans garbanzo beans
4 pounds turkey sausage
3 small jars all natural preserves
2 bags kettle chips
toothpaste
deodorant
smart rinse

Health Food Store

Gluten free soy sauce
3 pounds oat flour
3 pounds white rice flour
1.5 pounds tapioca flour

Total: $135.77

Blooming

2010-01-21T06:00:00.000-05:00

There is nothing I love to watch more than a child coming into their own. One of the tricky things about homeschooling is the amount of insecurity that the kids seem to have around their peers. They are not quite sure what the standards are so they are hesitant to get out there and reveal what they know or what they can do. It doesn't matter how many times that I tell them that they are right on track and should be pleased with their skills, they don't quite believe me. That's why we try, as often as possible, to put them in situations that are a bit uncomfortable. It's been a struggle at times to see them shrink back and loose confidence. But lately it seems they are each coming into their own, hitting a stride, making new friends and having a lot of fun.

Betsy has always been shy about reading in front of others. She's the youngest in her age group which can make a big difference in reading ability at first. She came home from her speech therapy beaming because she read a book to a teacher. The next morning she crowned herself king.

It's been so rewarding to see John and Rebekah find each other as playmates. My "babies" are growing up, that's for sure. Seeing them become friends just makes my heart swell. Yesterday, they played super heroes for hours. Rebekah tolerated the chasing and wrestling. John did his best to respect the baby doll.

Funnies

2010-01-18T21:39:00.005-05:00

Here's some recent funnies from the kids. I so wish that I would write them down more regularly.

Joseph on Chocolate:

"Mom, do you know I have a super power?" "Really, what is it?" "I can smell chocolate from a hundred feet away!"
(The child has a gift.)

Spoken while after basketball practice while his little friend was devouring a Hershey's bar and breathing in his face.

"Mom, my brain is telling me two things. Half my brain says to eat that chocolate. The other half says, don't eat that chocolate."

The other night at the dinner table I announced that no longer would children be using our bathroom for showers and baths. It's just a mess with toys and towels all over the place. They have their own bathroom for this.

Joseph responded nearly in tears, "This is life changing. This is life changing...."

Then I went on to ask how it is that toothpaste keeps showing up on all over the bathroom floor.

John promptly raised his hand. Stood on his booster seat and said, "I go like this with my foot (stomp). I brush my teeth."

Yep, the boy has been stepping on the toothpaste tube to get some out. That does explain a lot.

Rebekah loves to look through the book, Eat This Not That. It's full of pictures of restaurant food and information about what's a good and bad choice. I caught her in her bed flipping through the pages.

"Don't eat that. We can't have that. Not that. Not that.... Elizabeth, this book is called Eat Nothing."

Need to a laugh today? Head over to Mary's for Tiny Talk Tuesday.

Elimination Diet: An Update

2010-01-18T16:28:00.006-05:00

We are just beginning our eighth week on the Elimination Diet. Has it really been that long? In some ways it's flown by and in others it's been forever.

I think it's safe to say that everyone is fairing better in the morale department now that corn, soy, tomatoes, potatoes are back in the rotation. These just open up so many more options for us.

Since I last wrote we have trialed sugar and eggs. Ideally, eggs would have come along much earlier, but with the eczema not looking optimal, we wanted to wait until things were clearer so that a reaction would be evident. We had eggs for breakfast and lunch yesterday and no noticeable skin changes thus far. The verdict is still out, though. However, to my surprise there were some stomach aches and diarrhea last night and this morning. I've learned that some people have difficulty with the protein of whole eggs and not so much when they are in added into baked goods. So today we made some muffins with eggs and trialed those to see if anything happens.

Sugar was...well, exciting. You would have thought these kids had won a prize or something! We had brown sugar at breakfast, 7-up at lunch and allergy free sugar cookies. They. were. bouncing. off. the. walls. I literally had to hole myself up in the corner of the house and wear earplugs to take my Sunday afternoon nap. They were crazy.

Apart from the initial shock to the system, everyone fared well but Miriam and me. We were both dragging through the first part of last week. I could hardly put one foot in front of the other or get anything accomplished. I also noticed an increase in cravings, not just for sugar, but for anything and everything. I'm willing to stay away from sugar if this is what it does to me. Not worth it.

Many people are asking what we are going to do at the end of this process. I'm still thinking through a plan that will most beneficial and the least restrictive. With nine people finding a balance is going to require some planning and fortitude until we get into the swing of things.

It's likely that we will reintroduce the suspect foods only to certain individuals to confirm a response and then head off to an allergist to just get confirmation. But for now, we'll be moving forward. Dairy is next. Then it's red meat, caffeine and peanuts.

I've been documenting the eczema via pictures. If you don't like scaly, scabby arms you might want to skip this part. Here's a look at the progress:

Beginning of the Elimination Diet 11/30/09

After 3-weeks of allergy free foods. It got worse, I'm assuming because the body was getting rid of toxins. 12/21/09

End of week seven 1/16/10 The seeping has stopped as well as the intense itching. It's still very dry. In pictures it's hard to capture the true color and texture, but trust me, it's improving.

40 years ago today

2010-01-08T12:06:00.012-05:00

Dear Cindy,

There are few people in this world who we will know for a lifetime or be known by them. God saw fit to make us sisters and to be that for each other. From my youngest years you have been the one that I have looked to in amazement and adoration. You have always been so creative, nurturing and determined. I remember wanting to be just like you. If only my hair would go back into a ballerina bun and I could dance gracefully. If only I could pick up a simple pencil and sketch the most beautiful scene. If only I could be athletic and not give up when it was hard.

When you chose to sit by me on the bus and talk, my day was extra special. When you drove me to school in the morning or stayed and played tennis with me after practice, my heart was full. When you dressed me up and fixed my hair, I became beautiful. When you shared with me you dreams and desires, I felt accepted.

I'm sure we would both readily agree that our road hasn't always been a smooth one. We are different enough to clash in many areas. There are a lot of words I wish that I had never spoken. There are many times that I wish I could relive and to show you the respect that you deserve. But as in all things, God is good. We've both grown up in so many important ways.

I praise the Lord for making you just the way you are. Your life shines bright as a reflection of Him and everyone in your path is blessed. Hearing all of the heart felt testimonies at your birthday party made me realize all the more that you are a gift, dear sister. You are sacrificing, innovative, intentional, authentic, encouraging, humble, kind, gentle and Godly. I can't imagine the world without you here.

I am proud to be your younger sister. I am honored to call you one of my dearest friends.

Forever,

Monica

Hoarders

2010-01-07T08:31:00.005-05:00

Recently things have gone missing around here. It started when I bought some beans at the store. I knew for a fact that they were bagged and put in the cart, but they were nowhere to be found. Oh, well, I must have left them in cart in the parking lot.

Throughout the past week, there has been endless searching for notebooks and journals. First, it was Miriam's church notebook. Then it was Hannah's precious journal. Next, it was Lydia's all important school notebook. We turned the house upside down looking for it.

I was actually watching a show about hoarders with some of the kids (is was me intentional attempt to show them what can happen when you love stuff too much) when we realized that no one had seen John in quite some time. After searching we found him alright. Hiding happily under his bed....
With his booty of trash and other precious items....

A few hours later the beans were discovered as well....

Elimination Diet: Halfway there?

2010-01-04T07:01:00.004-05:00

Today is the beginning of our 6th week on the Elimination Diet. I can't believe I'm writing this. Five weeks without a Diet Coke. Now that, my friends, is a world's record for this mama.

It's been tough going these past two weeks. The holidays were harder than I imagined on the kids. Our choices were to stay cloistered in our house or enjoy the company of others in the presence of some very missed cuisine. We chose to participate in humanity, but that didn't come without it's own set of troubles.

A few days ago I thought we might just have to call it quits. Not only were the little ones at the end of their rope, but the older ones were generally grumpy and tearful. "How much longer?" "I don't want to do this." They were starting to take it out on each other and wear me down to a nub by the constant asking for this and that. I don't know, I think they must have thought that I would at some point crack and the whole thing would be over. I was near that point.

Let me tell you. I thought I knew what it meant to say, "No," to my children, but I had no idea. Their little eyes are so pleading and their words so sincere. There response EVERY TIME is like they've never heard the word before- utter disappointment. It has given me deep sympathy for those mothers around the world who have to deny their children food because there simply is not enough. I can't imagine how very heart wrenching and discouraging that must be.

With all that said, I believe we are about to turn a corner. We've introduced gluten, nightshades and corn now back into the diet. Gluten is back out and corn is on trial. Hopefully it will get to stay. Yesterday we LOVED eating popcorn again (several times). Other than a rash around the mouth that was noticed last night before bed, everyone seemed to handle it just fine. It might be just windburn; we'll see.

I've been going over and over again the benefits of this diet to keep our chins up. Here's the most recent:

1) No nighttime shin splint pain for the kids (It will be interesting to see if this lasts as basketball gears up.)
2) Between Sean and myself we've lost 18 pounds
3) Much more focus and energy to complete work
4) Everyone is sleeping better at night- no tossing/turning, sleepwalking
5) Skin is clear and bright as are eyes
6) Very few stomach aches
7) The eczema has seen great improvement. Still very dry, but not seeping and beginning to return to normal skin color. The patch on the face that appeared with gluten is already completely gone

I asked Elizabeth(8) how the diet has helped her. She responded, "It's helps me pray more to God because this is really hard. I can pray to Him and trust in Him and it helps me." I'd say those are true benefits.

I'm excited about these changes and keep asking God for clear results with each trial. If corn passes the bar than we will try soy or sugar at the end of the week.

Thanks all of the continued interest and encouragement.

Resolved

2010-01-01T09:19:00.003-05:00

I love the picture in Scripture of a follower of Christ being like a tree planted by water.

He will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. It has no worries in a year of drought and never fails to bear fruit."Jeremiah 17:8

But his delight is in the law of the LORD, and on his law he meditates day and night.

He is like a tree planted by streams of water, which yields its fruit in season and whose leaf does not wither. Whatever he does prospers. -Psalm 1:2-3

More often my heart reflects this:

In this season of newness and resolutions, I'm confronted with the reality that enforcing change upon myself is a impossible task. The changes I want to see for 2010 go deeper than losing weight, keeping a clean pantry, returning library books on time, getting up earlier or being a more intentional in relationships. Sure, I could implement systems to make those things happen, but true change happens from the inside out. Lasting change is the fruit of God's work in our lives- a daily pruning and the work of sanctification.

During college, God used a particular study (given to me by a wise pastor) when everything had fallen apart and God seemed very silent to me. I feared that my heart was growing hard, so hard that I would never be responsive to Him again. It was a severe crisis of faith and yet ended up being a watershed in my life as a believer.

Piece by piece I brought my brokeness before God and piece by piece He put me back together. It was a LONG process and quite painful at times. I had tried journaling all of my questions and feelings. I poured myself into service and private worship. These things were beneficial, no doubt, but was not until I began looking at my sin, not my circumstances, that I began to flourish again.

Recently, I was crying to Sean about something that broke my heart and asking for direction. He brought me this study, the one that I had not seen in years. He encouraged me to work through it and to pass it along. That's what he had done years ago when he gave it to our pastor.

In 2010 I'm resolved to work again through these pages. Taken from the text in Hosea 10:1:

"Sow for yourselves righteousness;
reap steadfast love;
break up your fallow ground,
for it is the time to seek the LORD,
that he may come and rain righteousness upon you."

Whew!!

2009-12-30T08:08:00.002-05:00

What a crazy week and a half. Sean has been home from school working hard and making progress on the book. I've been squeezing in bits of school here and there. We've all been loving the extra time with family and friends. Sometimes it's just fun to play together. But now reality is here- 2010 is a few days away. January promises to be a very busy month with 16 basketball games and Sean traveling out of state seven days. I'd really like to get the budget set, filing done and some decluttering accomplished before he returns to work on Monday. We'll see.

As for the diet- we march onward. Gluten was introduced first with a variety of reactions. Miriam developed a new patch of eczema on her forehead (she's never had any on her face before). Lydia had a headache the first day, dizziness and brain fog the second day and huge lymph nodes with a diagnosed ear infection by the fourth day. She's now on antibiotics and we are awaiting her full recovery before we move forward. It was noticeable in others dark circles under the eyes, swollen eyes and generally moodiness the day after gluten. We decided to remain gluten free as a family for the remainder of the diet mostly for moral support. But I think it would benefit us all as we try to sort things out.

We did go ahead and introduce nightshades a few days ago out of desperation. The morale was LOW and the kids were just generally in a funk needing something to change. I chose nightshades simply because they are all whole foods and I don't suspect that there will be any problems. Everyone did great with these (thankfully). So now we have potatoes, tomatoes and peppers back in our lives. They've enjoyed mashed potatoes made with broth and kettle chips. What a treat!

How much longer? We have 9 more groups to introduce. The reality of it is that it's going to likely be at least another six weeks, if not longer. I'm thinking it will be more like 10 weeks. I'm hoping we can get it done by Spring Break.

Though it's getting easier in some ways, and more challenging in others, the benefits are clear to Sean and I. Everyone is feeling so much better in general. Sleep is restoring. There's no mid day slump in energy. Complexions and eyes are bright and clear. There is much less grumpiness from the little kids. Math fact are being learned and they are sticking. Sean and I have lost around 12 pounds combined without exercise. Seeing these small changes along the way are so encouraging.

Elimination Diet: The Numbers

2009-12-19T20:08:00.004-05:00

We have made it through three weeks! Wow that is hard to believe, because frankly it's kept me so busy it seems like no time has passed at all. Tomorrow there will be a gluten ( not to be confused with gluttonous) fest here at our house. We will experience gluten for one day and one day only. Then we'll wait and watch to see if there are any reactions. I get asked a lot about what kind of reactions we expect. Initially, we will record our pulse before, 15 minutes after consumption and then again at 30 minutes. Other than that, there is a huge checklist of possibilities. I'm praying that any true reactions will be quite obvious.

Being the frugal gal that I am, I've found shopping for whole foods to be quite expensive. I think there are two things that come into play. First, there aren't sales, markdowns or coupons. Second, since we are not full of junk we simply want more volume of the real stuff. Also of note is that I'm having to travel about a half hour or more to get to Trader Joe's or Whole Foods to purchase things that just can't be found anywhere else.

I feel in many ways I'm starting from scratch here. My mind automatically knows what the best price is on processed foods, but venturing into natural foods is a whole different scene for me. So I've been going to the store ALOT more than I'd like, but I have been able to compile a list of price comparisons which will help me (and the budget) through the rest of this process.

I may not be able to cut costs tremendously, but I have found some great stock up deals each week. The first week it was 100% apple juice at Meijer for $1.00 and large cartons organic chicken stock for. $1.00 at Kroger. The next week Kroger was clearing out all of their brown rice cereal for $1.50 (they usually go for $3-4 a box). Last week it was 100% orange juice 1/2 gallons for $1.25 at Kroger. I've also found coconut oil for $1.99 marked down from $6.00. So there are deals to be had, but not guaranteed.

I haven't actually run the numbers on what's been spent in these three weeks. Honestly, I'm kind of afraid to do so. Perhaps I'll just start with this new found knowledge and be a little more intention in my planning this next month.

Here's the breakdown of cost comparisons for what it's worth:)

TJ=Trader Joe's
WM= WalMart
K=Kroger
S=Sam's
M=Meijer

Rice Milk (64oz) $2.99 TJ/$3.24 WM/$3.39 M

Rice Milk (1/2 gallon refrigerated) $2.98 WM/$3.59 K

Almond Milk (32oz) $1.60 TJ/

Brown Jasmine Rice $3.29 TJ/

Wild Rice $3.47 WM/

Brown Rice (2lbs) $1.87 WM/ (1 lb) $1.25-2.20

Organic Brown Rice (2lbs) $2.97 WM/ $3.99 M

Brown Rice Flour $2.92 WM/ $2.99-3.29 K/ $4.24 Amazon/$4.99 M

Cream of Rice Cereal $3.86 WM/ $4.44 Amazon/

Dried Cranberries $.28/oz WM, $.42/oz K, $.17/oz S

Brown Rice Pasta $2.87-3.22 WM/ $1.99 TJ/ Amazon $3.31/$2.69-$3.39 M

Lentils (16 oz) $.98 WM/ $1.45-1.65 K/$1.69 M

Black Beans (16 oz) $1.12 WM/ $1.49 K

Agave Nectar (23.5 oz) $6.37 WM/ (11.75 oz) $4.22-$4.89 K/$2.99, (23.5) $5.17 Amazon- must buy 6+shipping

Truvia (80 pack) $6.99 K/ $5.86 WM

Coconut Milk $1.99-2.29 K/ $1.25 WM/ $1.99 M

Rice Noodles 16oz $4.13 K/ $1.39 TJ

Texmati Brown Rice (2lbs) $5.58 WM/ $5.97-6.55 K

Cashews $4.99 (1lb) M

Almonds $10.98 (4 lbs) S

Snapshots

2009-12-16T22:08:00.005-05:00

It's definitely winter. It's not only cold, but the children feeling (and acting) a bit pent up these days. It seems that the days are VERY long, yet the sunlight VERY short. Nonetheless, we are trying to stay warm and occupied. This won't be too hard once basketball season goes into full gear in a couple of weeks. But until then....

First Snowmen of Winter 2009

Watching a show online when chores are done at the end of the day.

Field trip downtown to the Rhythm! Discovery Center

The knitting needles have made a comeback

The newest game around here. Wall-eopoly.

Enjoying a quiet Lord's Day.

Elimination Diet: What's been on the table?

2009-12-14T06:00:00.001-05:00

All I can say at this point is that cooking completely from scratch is exhausting. My hat is off to all of you out there who do this from absolute necessity. I'm thinking of missionaries, who on top of living in sometimes adverse conditions with loads of responsibilities must spend time shopping and cooking and cleaning to this degree.

I have to admit that we've gone twice to Chipolte in these two weeks. They are very allergen friendly requiring the entire staff to change their gloves and utensils when filling our order. That was appreciated. We are able to order a bowl with rice, beans, chicken and lettuce. I could have so made this at home, but a break was much in order. Perhaps not the best use of money, but I'd like to think that my sanity is worth something.

With that being said, I'm happy to report that we are fairly settled in to our new routine. Everyone has found at least a few things that they like and now I feel like I can just cycle through the rotation. Hopefully, as I cook through these meals a second time I'll be able to put a few things in the freezer for the future or have leftovers for lunch.

Here's some samples from our first two weeks of a gluten, dairy, soy, corn, peanut, egg, nightshades, red meat, caffeine, alcohol and sugar free life.

Rice Noodles with Cashew sauce and Stir Fry Veggies (picking around the corn and peppers)

Baked Apples with cinnamon and apple juice

Blueberry pancakes

Mini turkey burgers with sweet potato fries and fruit salad

LOTS of smoothies and fruit drinks

Warmed apple cider with orange slices and cinnamon sticks

Pumpkin cake

Brown Rice pasta with Mushroom Nomato sauce and green beans

Coconut Breaded fish with sauted veggies, baked sweet potato and bread

We've also enjoyed: Black beans and Fajita Chicken with Lime/Cilantro rice
Salmon Cakes and Roasted Cauliflower
Banana Muffins
Chicken Soup
White Chili
Hummus and Fresh Vegetables

One wonderful thing about this diet is that there is not a speck of food wasted. We all seem to have a real appetite when we sit down and walk away from the table satisfied (most of the time). It is a challenge to keep up on the snacks, though. I'm finding that the kids need at least two snacks a day which usually ends up being trail mix (almonds/cashews/raisins/dehydrated bananas) or some sort of fruit. Last week they consumed 40 pounds of bananas and almost and entire box of oranges. The people at the grocery probably think I have monkeys living at my house!!

This week I'm going to attempt to make my own Nomato sauce. It was given to us by a friend to try and it is surprisingly just like tomato sauce!! However, it is quite expensive for just a jar that contains just two servings. Having that would open up a a lot of recipes for us.

I'm also going to try some grilled flatbread (if the weather stays clear). I think this would taste great with hummus. There is a coconut milk ice cream recipe that looks delicious, but, alas I have no ice cream maker. That one will have to wait.

I have some new grains on hand, so I might bake some more bread and muffins as well.

Hopefully, less time planning meals will mean more blogging this week. I have finally compiled my price list and have a lot of recipes to post over at the Full Table.

Perspective

2009-12-10T21:24:00.004-05:00

Today was one of those days. One of those days that everyone seemed so needy and yet dissatisfied. One of those days when the same question is asked again and again to the point I thought I might explode. One of those days that I couldn't push back that overwhelmed feeling inside. One of those days when I honestly questioned if I'm making any impact at all. One of those days in which the inconvenient seemed to rule.

Just as we sat down to dinner I whispered to Sean, "I'm done. I seriously can't take anymore today."

Then the phone rang with tragic news from far away. Sean's cousin's baby girl died today unexpectedly at 36 weeks. Thinking of her and all that she has endured and picturing her husband receiving this tragic news in Afghanistan made my heart break. We prayed at the table asking that the Lord would somehow bring comfort and choked back tears while trying to swallow our food.

Today was one of those days I wish I could do over again. To listen a bit more patiently instead of interrupting. To hold my children a bit longer instead letting go to do my "work". To give a soft answer that instructed instead of accusing word. To respond to the inconveniences with a laugh instead of a heavy sigh.

Perspective.

Finding Results

2009-12-08T22:42:00.002-05:00

There are a few particular results that we are looking for with this Elimination Diet. None of us have ever been diagnosed with any specific food allergies, but there are some physical symptoms/behaviors that we hope will respond positively to this change. Here's the rundown:

1) Eczema- terribly uncomfortable, itchy, inflamed and infected. It has not responded to creams, environmental changes. It's just gotten worse. If steroids don't have to be used, that would be ideal.

2) Sensory Issues- one daughter has NEVER been able to tolerate certain types of materials and clothing. This really isn't a rebellion issue, but a sensory one that has impeded concentration and learning at times.

3) Inability to concentrate- My kids are not ADHD by any means, but more consistently lately have had problems with focusing and recall.

4) Chronic Ear Infections/Fluid- this translates into antibiotics several times a year and often missing intructions/ meanings in conversations and constant discomfort.

5) Irrational food cravings- sneaking foods and never satisfied

6) Bloating/Stomach Aches several times a week

7) Inability to loose weight

I'm happy to report these things after the first 7 days!

1) Only one stomach ache

2) Sensory child CHOSE to wear jeans three times this week. I even asked her if I could cut the tags out for her if they bothered her too much. She said she didn't even feel them.

3) The eczema improved initially, but then flared up terribly last night and today after exercise.

4) Everyone is more alert and then appropriately tired at the end of the day.

We are also tracking everyone's basal (morning) temperature and have found a steady increase across the board by about a degree. Initially, everyone was in the 96's and now we are in the 97's.

Elimination Diet: Week One

2009-12-07T07:47:00.004-05:00

Thank you all for your encouraging words and interest. It really has helped considerably this past week.

I would be lying if I didn't admit that this first week hasn't been hard. It's true that much of our family life revolves around food and the comfort it brings. A jolting change has taken it's toll in different ways. I think for the most part the older members of the family have become acclimated to our current diet, while the little ones are just now realizing that things aren't going back to "normal' any time soon.

Last night at church was a particular challenge. We had our monthly fellowship meal after the evening service. I brought food that our family could eat, realizing that there was likely nothing else that would be available. As I was helping them through the line, poor Joseph stood in front of the brownies with big tears dropping. It was really hard for me to resist his pleas.

On the way home, we asked everyone to talk about how hard the situation was for them to say "no" to such yummy food on a scale from one to ten. The answers ranged from 3-9.5 (Joseph). He later recanted and changed his number to a "10".

Not that I love torturing my kids, but I'm seeing more value in the Elimination Diet then just nutritional/health. We know many people with food sensitivities that for a lifetime have to do what we did last night. We've seen people on the street walking past a restaurant with just the shirt on their backs looking in the window at the warm plates of food. It's a good thing in an all-you-can-eat world to just say "no" sometimes. Though it's hard now, I pray that these lessons will stick with them (and me).

We hit a low point on day four when my friend Jennie graciously called. She not only offered to have us over for dinner, but to teach us how to make bread. You would have thought that the National Guard had come in and swept us off our rooftop! Jennie's children have autism with food allergies, so she is well accustomed to cooking in this manner. It was a great encouragement and comfort to us.

We celebrated Lydia's birthday Friday night and I did my best to make it extra special. We ate coconut breaded fish, sweet potatoes, mushrooms/zuchinni, bread and applesauce cake. The cake didn't turn out as I had hoped, but they gobbled it down anyway. It tasted like warm apple pie.

We've been keeping a chart on the physical changes that have occurred in the past week. Stay tuned for those tomorrow. Also, throughout the week I'll be sharing some of our recipes and price comparisions that I've gathered from various stores.

Day 3: We're still alive

2009-12-02T20:03:00.005-05:00

It's been a long few days. Running headfirst into the Elimination Diet has been no small task. Leaving behind what seems like all major food groups and embracing the "all natural" has been disruptive to both physically and emotionally to everyone on some level.

Physically, the younger kids have been more whiny and loud than usual. Most of us have had headaches throughout the day. The bathroom has had a workout (I'll spare you the details.) One of the girls has terrible canker sores now. I think lethargic would be the word to best describe our crew this week. I'm looking forward to the time when we turn the corner, that's for sure.

Emotionally, there have been some tears when having to turn down sweets from a neighbor. That was sad. I think that bread is missed above all else. One of the kids thought the other was eating bread and was so excited. It was just a banana:(

On the upside, no one is having trouble sleeping at night. There's not much that can keep me up past 10 it seems. Also, we are already seeing improvements in the eczema. The scaly rash is still there, but the redness is gone and there is no seeping.

Personally, I'd LOVE to have a Diet Coke right now. Driving down the road today, I think every single billboard was a McDonald's sign with a $1 Diet Coke advertised. That's just cruel. But, I am drinking water as I should and actually didn't mind it's nonflavorness so much today.

Being the cook right now has been interesting. I'm not used to fixing food that my family doesn't like. I was just about in tears tonight serving them dinner and being just sure that they were all going to gag. But to my surprise, they said it was their favorite yet. It reminded them of Chipolte.

Either they are getting really hungry, or they are feeling very sorry for me.

Brown Rice and Lentils with Cilantro Lime Chutney

The Elimination Diet Begins

2009-11-28T19:54:00.005-05:00

I'd like to think that we eat fairly healthy meals here in our home. We do eat at home around the table most of the time. We tend to avoid prepackaged meals as much as possible. More than anything, this has to do with cost. I've learned that it's not as hard as it seems to make something from scratch. There is a lot of cost that goes into those grocery store packages, preservatives and transportation costs. But, nonetheless, even though I assemble our meals, most of our foods are well processed, especially our snacks.

Over time it's become more apparent that not all foods are agreeing with all the people in this house. Three of the kids have regular bloating and stomach aches. Two have eczema. The youngest two have extremely dry skin and the beginnings of what will be much worse eczema if allowed to continue. Two have recurrent fluid in the ears and infections. I have a crazy thyroid cyst and Sean teeters on the edge of high cholesterol. I've also noticed some of the kids really struggling some days with retention and concentration in school. They say it feels like they are in a fog or that their brain feels "fuzzy".

As this whole scene has unfolded in the past few months, it has sent me on a reading frenzy. Some of the books I've read have been:

Understanding Childhood Eczema

Discover your hidden food allergies and lose weight

Food Allergies and Food Intolerance

Allergy Exclusion Diet

The End of Overeating

When I learned that my friends from church, Heidi and Michelle, had done the elimination diet with great results, we began to consider if this would be a viable option for our family. (Let me know if you want the specific information and I'll send it your way.)

In short, we will be eliminating 11 groups of food completely from our diet for three weeks. These groups are: gluten grains, dairy, soy, corn, peanuts, eggs, nightshades, red meats, caffeine, alcohol and sugar.

This process should clear out the system of any current food sensitivities. Then it will be a systematic introduction of each group with a tracking of any allergic/sensitive responses such as increased pulse, temperature, hives, upset stomach, irritability.....

We've been anticipating this now for over a month and for the most part everyone is on board. Today we cleaned out the pantry, fridge and freezer making those foods inaccessible. We stocked the shelves with our new staples so that all is ready for Monday morning. I'll be updating this blog on our progress, recipes, price/product comparisons and results.

As one would imagine, we've thoroughly enjoyed Thanksgiving. For our last day of "normal" eating, calzones and omelets have been unanimously requested.

Before.

After

Saying good bye for now.

50% Safe

2009-11-21T22:54:00.003-05:00

I've been on a cleaning spree lately. The kids keep reminding me that it's Fall, not Spring. "All the more reason to move the furniture and get rid of stuff", I say.

Today I was working diligently upstairs and after about an hour wondered what the children might be doing so quietly and independently. They were happily playing in the garage.

Later, Besty came and asked if I would like to see the "game" they made up. "It's 100% safe, Mom." Joseph interrupted, "Well, it's about 50% safe."

In case you can't tell, this is John and Rebekah on a sled on top of the chest freezer being pulled down onto a pile of winter coats and snowsuits. No worries, though, because Joseph is the "lifeguard." Besides, Rebekah tells John, "Trust God."

Thanksgiving thoughts

2009-11-19T20:50:00.003-05:00

This is by far my favorite time of year. Perhaps it is because I'm introspective, but I truly enjoy contemplating and remembering in thankfulness the past year. There is something beautiful about coming around the same table again with the same loved ones and realizing how much we have experienced, grown and changed. Sometimes it's in the face of hardship. Other times it is the result of pure joy.

One of my favorite verses is found in 1 Timothy 6:6, "Godliness with contentment is great gain." It comes to my mind often, especially when I'm grumbling in my heart or uncertain about what the future holds. It reminds me that true contentment is directly from the heart of God. I can't "make" myself satisfied by pretending it or thinking it or filling myself up with the stuff of this world.

And when contentment like this is realized, then the gratitude abounds. To me that is a picture of what Thanksgiving is about. It's recognizing that all is from the hand of God and ,therefore, we must give thanks. It's declaring, "Lord, in you I need nothing else."

Coming of Age

2009-11-16T19:52:00.008-05:00

Wow, has this past week been about the most fun ever! Hannah turned 13 on Wednesday, the day that Sean and I were scheduled to leave town. He was speaking in Fort Lauderdale on Thursday and I had purchased my ticket months ago in anticipation of joining.

Secretly, we planned to take Hannah along with us as a surprise birthday present. It's been hard knowing for months and not sharing the excitement. We even had her pack her bags for her friend's house. Once all of the other kids were dropped off, we pulled the van over and got out so that she could open her gift. It was her plane ticket and letters from Sean and I. She was shocked, to say the least. We made it to the airport just in time to board. So fun!!

Hannah's first flight. Playing Pass the Pigs.

While Sean was working at the Conference, Hannah and I worked through Passport to Purity. We giggled a lot, as well as had some deep, honest conversations. The Lord was good to provide us with such a special get-away to have these conversations. No pressures, no interruptions, no time constraints. It was perfect.

Florida sunset.

More than anything, we wanted Hannah to know how much we love and trust her. It's been our privilege to see her growing into the young woman that God has called her to be. We talked a lot about what life was like when it was just the three of us in our little apartment. Her daddy couldn't wait to get home to see her every afternoon. And I could not have asked for a better companion to pass the days.

At the completion of Passport to Purity, we met up with Sean for dinner at an Italian restaurant where he presented her with a pearl ring. *sniff*

The last two days we spent sightseeing around Fort Lauderdale and enjoying the incredible weather. I kept having to pinch myself.

The largest cruise ship in the world came to dock while we were there. We could see it from our hotel balcony.

This was the hotel pool. This is the kind of hotel that corporations pay to have people stay in- a far cry from our usual Residence Inn.

Hannah and I took this water taxi around and saw some insanely large yahts and homes owned by famous people.

At the beach.

Our last lunch by the ocean.

I could not have asked for a better way to celebrate coming into the teenage years. It's new territory for all of us. I don't doubt that we will have some bumps along the way, but I'm certain that God's Word will guide us through as well as a mutual respect and love for one another.

I walked away from this weekend more in love with Hannah than ever. She is a beautiful, determined, independent and Godly young woman. I'm truly blessed to be her mom.

Catching Up

2009-11-10T00:13:00.004-05:00

Time is just ticking along. It's hard to believe that Thanksgiving is just two weeks away. Here's just a snapshot of what's going on in our house these days:

- We are in the process of celebrating Hannah's 13th birthday- a sleepover with friends last Friday, a dessert open house on Saturday, and an open house with the Indianapolis Fever tomorrow night. But, the best is still yet to come! That's all I can say about that:) Stay tuned.

- God is doing amazing things in our childrens' hearts! It seems each day lately has been filled with a new realization of God's forgiveness and new questions about what it means to be a Christian. I'm in awe at the Lord's individual work in their lives. He's calling out to them one by one. They are responding and growing.

- Our homeschool group has ended for the semester. It will be nice to have some more concentrated time at home, yet the friends will be missed.

- I'm loving the local library which offers homeschool classes on a regular basis. It helps that one of the librarians is a homeschool mom herself. The oldest three just took a class on giving a powerpoint presentation. I was impressed with what the produced and presented.

- I have been going to the chiropractor and rehab since the beginning of the semester. Thankfully, I've gotten much relief and now have moved on to the final phase. Apart from my ice skating mishap on Friday, it's wonderful to not be in continual discomfort.

- I'm doing a few projects around the house. My favorite is repainting the baseboard and doors which currently have flat paint that just smears the dirt when being washed. I'm trying to do a bit each night after the kids are in bed. It's rewarding to finally fix what has been annoying me for a long time.

-I'm preparing our pantry for the Elimination Diet that we will all be starting after Thanksgiving. This has entailed making a lot of unsweetened applesauce, as well as creatively using what's in the pantry. We are hoping to get to the bottom of some consistent reactions the kids have been having with eczema and digestive problems.

So, what's been going on in your world?

Frugal living these days

2009-10-31T16:38:00.006-04:00

Many people have been asking me recently if I'm still bargain shopping and freezer cooking. I have to admit that I did get a bit burnt out after months and months of buckling down. Now that the debt is gone, the pressure isn't quite the same. That doesn't meant that I like spending our hard earned money on retail priced items when it could be put to better use.

So, I'm back at these days, but am looking for more balance. I simply can't keep up with the individual deals that I read on blogs here and there or run into the store at a moment's notice. And I refuse to clip every coupon that crosses my path. There's just no way.

I've found a some new-to-me websites that are quite helpful to this end. I like these because they are simple, give me the bottom line (how much am I actually saving) and then allow me to print off a list of only the deals that I actually want. I can even get a total for what I will spend.

Coupon Mom and Inexpensively are now on my list of favorite sites.

What's working for me is printing my lists from these two sites and sifting through my coupons twice a week while I'm waiting in the car during speech therapy. I keep my coupons in their original inserts with the date boldly written on the front. These are then placed in chronological order so they are easy to navigate. I keep these on a clipboard in the van. Then sometime during the week I'll steal away by myself and run into each store just for the items I have planned. That usually entails a stop by CVS, Walgreens, Kroger and Meijer. If an item is 80% off or less and I can stock up, it's worth the trip to me. I total, I'd say I'm spending about 30-40 minutes planning and an hours driving/shopping. I'm saving around 60-70% in the end or about $50 a week.

I'm also doing my best to stock up on seasonal produce when it hits its lowest price of the season. Of course, buying that much produce requires some diligence in preserving it for the future, but it beats paying a premium price later. Pumpkins and apples seem to be the theme. This week it was 3lb bags of apples for $.99. Needless to say, I'm up to my eyeballs in applesauce right now!!

When restaurant.com ran their 9/9/09 special, we decided to purchase a few certificates at 90% and give them a try. I was a bit skeptical at first. But amazingly, it worked wonderfully. We were able to enjoy a delicious Cajun meal which totaled for $35 for about $18 (tip included) as well as treat my in-laws to a big barbecue meal for their birthdays. I'm looking forward to using this site particularly when we are traveling and tend to eat out a lot. Most of these restaurants are local fare instead of chains. Bonus.

Finally, I'm planning on taking the last week of the month off from shopping altogether. This will require some planning ahead, but more than that it will force us to be content with what we have, which is always a good thing.

Within a few weeks all this grocery shopping/stocking won't be relevant as we are going a different direction in our diet for a while. After Thanksgiving, we (yes, all nine of us) are going on a little adventure of our own in the world of cuisine. But, I'll save that for another day.

At the end of the week....

2009-10-30T21:26:00.003-04:00

I've not been neglecting my blog, but rather trying to catch life as it speeds by. It seems as though my feet hit the floor in the morning (which has been normally around 6am due to chiropractor visits) and I seriously don't sit down to rest until 8pm or so.

Honestly, I'm feeling a bit drained these days. And discouraged.

I was thinking today in the van (choking back tears) about how I viewed life ten years ago. I had two babies, lived in a small apartment waiting for the moment that Sean would walk through the door each evening. I was drained from lack of regular sleep, constant physical care and a good dose of isolation since we only had one car. A blog probably would have been therapeutic back then. The clock ticked so slowly in those days. Some days I really thought might never end.

I never imagined then that my life would be where it is today. There is never enough time to answer all the questions and concerns. I have such willing, helping hands for all the physical tasks which never ceases to bless me. The days of simply kissing away the tears or putting a whiny baby to bed are largely gone. Now it's long discussions with lots of emotions and opinions involved. It's giving attention to ideas and conflicts before the moment passes. It's the nitty gritty work of sanding down the rough edges that become evident in a family.

It's been made clear to me these past few weeks that in all these interactions, I have some rough edges myself. At times it's painful for me to not lash out or become hurtful to those I love. I can feel it just well up inside me. I'm constantly having to seek wisdom to know how to properly respond and react. I want to be the right one. I want them just to follow my marching orders. I want to be just a bit sarcastic to get a word in. I want them to understand me, where I'm coming from and trust that my way is best. That would be so much easier, right?

No. I know the answer is no. Yet, I feel a part of me dying each time I push back what I want. I know that these trials are not really about clothes or insecurities or a argument between siblings. It's about sanctification- for all of us. By God's grace I will do my best to continue to draw the lines carefully and enforce the consequences consistently. I'm so not good at this, but I want to be. I want to please the Lord. I want His Love to be poured out on my children through me. I want them to know that there is no problem too small or too big that He does not care about. I want them to be blessed in their obedience and repentant in their disobedience.

I feel so far from that place myself right now. And discouraged. I'm thankful for the coming Lord's Day- a time to rest, rejoice, reflect and know again what is True.

Funny Stuff

2009-10-27T09:46:00.003-04:00

Here's some happenings from this past week that brightened my days:

Recently the kids watched some old Popeye cartoons and thought it was hysterical when they saw his picture on a bag of spinach that I had out for salad.

After laughing like a crazy man, Joseph informed us, "You know, Popeye is both healthy and unhealthy. He's healthy because he eats spinach. He's unhealthy because he smokes. That makes no sense."

Joseph and Betsy have set up shop in our back yard trying to sell their wares. They had their first customer last night.

"Mom, mom....we made some money!"

"What did you sell?"

"Dad bought an old fork from us for $.25!"

Yes, it was a fork that had been left in the sand box all summer and has seen better days. Sean washed it up and straightened it out stating it was the best $.25 he's spent in a while. We never have enough forks around here.

And for the final act.... Elizabeth and Rebekah were told that they couldn't watch a movie and came up with something much more entertaining- an initiation of the contortionist Chinese girls that we saw at the State Fair.

Read more funny stories about what kids are saying at Mary's Tiny Talk Tuesday.

"Let no debt remain outstanding....."

2009-10-22T10:44:00.000-04:00

As you may (or may not) remember much of this blog last year was dedicated to our striving and work toward frugal living. We had a No Spend Challenge Month. We collected all our change for a month. We set the goal of $400 month for a grocery budget in 2008. (Follow the sidebar on Frugal Living for details.)

Well, by God's goodness, I am thrilled to report that after 2 1/2 years our family is now DEBT FREE! (expect for our mortgage). We received the title to our van last week in the mail which resulted in much jumping and dancing around by all. The total amount of debt paid off was about $28,000. The majority of this sum was the 15 passenger van we bought in 2007. The remainder was owed for various emergencies that had arisen over time and we had charged to a credit card. Keep in mind that during these past two years there were two surgeries, four car repairs, four appliances replaced, home repairs, a room makeover, xrays, doctors visits, many memorable road trips.... You get the idea. Life doesn't stop just to let us meet our goals. There have been some obstacles along the way, but here we are. Finally. Here we are!

Honesty, we didn't sell all our things, receive an inheritance or follow a secret plan. God has provided extra work for us and we've been working hard. The doors that have opened have been amazing, particularly for Sean. He's now getting compensated for what he loves to do- teach math/physics and encourage others in their instruction of it. This has taken the form of both speaking and writing.

It is though a large weight has been lifted. Romans 13:8 says, "Let no debt remain outstanding, except the continuing debt to love one another, for he who loves his fellowman has fulfilled the law." This verse holds new meaning. Sure, it's a relief to get rid of those monthly payments. But more than that, it's freedom look outside ourselves and the financial pressures. It's the freedom to continue to trust God for whatever the future may hold. It's the freedom to be able to bless others. It's the freedom to serve One Master- the One who meets our every need and every way.

I hesitated to put numbers here on the blog. Debt, no matter how large or small, is a slave master. But I wanted give praise to God for His Provision and work in our lives. I also want to be an encouragement to you where ever you are on your journeys. Persevere, my friends, you can do this- one day at a time.

Our children have been with us on this journey 100%. They've known the goals and seen the budget. I've even made them listen to the Dave Ramsey Show on many an occasion. In fact, whenever they see a 1-800 number on the caller ID they swear that it's Dave Ramsey calling:) I pray that as they read this someday, they will remember these years as ones not of want, but of plenty. It hasn't always been fun, but it's made us who we are today.

And so the work continues and the major savings has now begun. I believe 2010 might be renamed "The Year of the Orthodontist."

Praying

2009-10-15T06:40:00.006-04:00

We have known the Goins family since 1997 when we attended the same church. Sean taught with Mark for several years. Diane selflessly watched my babies for a few years so I could attend a weekly Bible Study. If I had to describe them in a few words, they would be "passionate" and "authentic".

The Goins are the real deal. They love the Lord and His people in practical ways. In recent years, they have followed God's leading to adopt children into their family. They have three children already, but have taken seriously the call of the orphan. They have sacrificed, worked hard and creatively to raise funds for a few years now in order to adopt without debt.

As a family they have been in the Ukraine since early September waiting and bonding with their new son and daughter. Yesterday we received an email from Mark stating that they have just learned that there is 0% chance that the adoption will go through. Mark did not give any details, but only stated it is a matter or pride, personality and prejudice. They will receive some "complimentary" time in front of the judge on Friday. (The Ukraine is seven hours ahead of us).

Won't you pray with me today? Pray that nothing will hinder Friday's court appearance from happening. Pray that God will miraculously turn this judge's heart to grant the Goins' favor. Pray that if this obstacle is bound up in logistics that the details will be worked out before they see the judge. Pray for these children to be adopted into a real family who already love them and who will raise them with the Love of Christ.

According to the powers that be the judgment against them has already been made. We are praying for a miracle.

They crack me up!

2009-10-13T07:38:00.001-04:00

What ever will they come up with next?

Betsy recently asked to wear her glasses again stating the problem as she sees it:

"Mom, I know I need glasses now. Whenever I close my one eye then open it and close my other eye, everything moves just a little bit. Just a tiny little bit."

Joseph inquired for no apparent reason:

"Dad, can a person be allergic to money?"

We went to the Henry Ford Museum where the interpreter told us a story about how Ford disliked cleaning the chicken coup so much as a child that he refused to eat chicken for the entirety of his life to which my children responded:

"That doesn't make sense, because if he would eat the chickens then there would be nothing to clean up after!"

Reviewing a sermon we heard on marriage in the van I asked the kids to each tell me one thing they heard or learned.

Joseph: "If you are married than you are perfect."

Me: "Nope, quite the opposite. Try again."

Joseph: "No one or no thing should replace God in your heart."

Those are words to live by.

And finally because we think just about everything is funny- here's a video I found that the kids had taken themselves.

This post can be found at Tiny Talk Tuesday along with lots of other reasons to smile:)

2009-10-12T22:49:00.003-04:00

Youth is like spring, an over praised season more remarkable for biting winds than genial breezes. Autumn is the mellower season, and what we lose in flowers we more than gain in fruits.
~Samuel Butler

Michigan, October 2009

Purging

2009-10-07T23:18:00.003-04:00

I feel like there's a lot of stuff in my life that just needs to go. It's like I'm constantly stepping over something to get the the thing that I really need. And now that it's getting colder outside this is becoming not only a bit more obvious, but annoying as well. The end result is that I get quickly overwhelmed which leads to unmotivation which then leads to procrastination which results with grumpiness. None of this is a good thing, nor is it helpful to my family.

Some things have got to go. I have neither the time nor the energy to maintain it all. I once read a blog by someone who actually got rid of everything but the bare essentials. Their home consisted of walls, carpet and a few pieces of furniture. They had seven outfits that they rotated every single week. Though, I'm not ready to go to that extreme, it is worth contemplating. It sure would free up some space not only in our home, but in my brain.

We're away for a few days for Fall Break. I hope to arrive home with a plan to start tackling the unnecessaries before they tackle me!

Is it just me or does any one else struggle with this?

The Cooks Next Door

2009-10-06T22:14:00.004-04:00

I just got home from our church's monthly Mom's Night Out. This normally involves some good food followed by desert and coffee. More than that it's a time to reconnect, laugh, share and be friends. I'm blessed that though our congregation is small by many standards it overflows with authentic relationships.

Want to meet some of my friends? Let me tell you that they are some of the most creative people I know. And when it comes to food, they shine. To bless us all Alaina and Heather have started a new blog. Hope you are able to spend some time at The Cooks Next Door and are as inspired by these women as I am.

Getting there and getting home again

2009-09-29T23:00:00.001-04:00

I heard some words of wisdom from my brother-in-law that has really affected the way we traveled last summer. Basically, his mentality when hitting the road with the family is this: "Vacation starts when you leave the driveway and doesn't end until you park your car back in the garage."

There's just no reason to hurry up, stress out and make everyone's travels unenjoyable along the way waiting for the vacation to begin. Of course there are sometimes time restraints, but if these are expected the journey can still be enjoyable.

So here's some ways we've made traveling part of vacation this summer:

1) Listened to ALOT of Adventures in Odyssey together which we checked out from the library.

2) Enjoyed special-to-us snacks like stringed cheese and yogurt in a tube. Seriously, it's the little things. It doesn't take much.

3) Followed a billboard for a dairy farm in hopes of just stretching our legs and getting some good ice cream. Instead, we had a few hours of serious fun, a 4 D movie and a farm tour. Then we ate the ice cream. Go ahead- ask us anything about dairy production.

4) Stopped at a rest stop and ran off some energy on a playground.

5) With a little research on the internet, decided to stop by and visit an amazing kid's zoo for the afternoon.

6) Said yes, more than no.

7) Took a potty break at a restaurant with a play land and let the little ones race and slide for a few minutes.

8) Picked up some free maps at a rest stop. The kids colored and traced their way home.

9) Stayed in the last day to let the kids swim and play to their heart's content while I did laundry. Going to home with luggage full of clean clothes is a relaxing thought in itself! We also took a much needed nap to recoup from a week of non stop fun.

10) Grabbed bagels for breakfast on the way out town and left a meal ready in the freezer for when we got home again.

I know that our vacation time has been enriched with just a simple shift of thinking. Sometimes in the packing, planning and effort to get out the door, I've left something very important behind- the realization that I'm not blessing my family by stressing and rushing.

Life is not just the destination, it's the journey.

(Just so you know- we consider any time that we spend a night at a hotel 'vacation'. We usually take several short road trips around the Midwest tagging along as my husband works.)

This and other ideas can be found on WFMW at We are THAT Family!

Sweet Victory

2009-09-26T23:09:00.004-04:00

Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses,

let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us,

looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy that was set before him endured the cross, despising the shame, and is seated at the right hand of the throne of God. - Hebrews 12:1-2

Tonight we attended the WNBA conference finals in which our team, the Fever, won a hard fought battle. Nestled in a crowd of 18,000 it was overwhelming to hear the cheers of so many coming as if from one voice. The energy was palpable. The encouragement was constant. It was as though everyone already knew that our team had the victory even though the score remained close to the end.

I could not help but think of this passage from Hebrews. That crowd is minuscule in comparison to those in heaven- those who see clearly the reality of Christ and His accomplished work in the lives of His people. I imagine that they are like that crowd tonight- so excited to watch the action and cheering with all their might.

Sometimes, I get bogged down in this walk of sanctification. As God convicts me of my sin and calls me to holy living, I feel somewhat alone in my own head. Why is it that I always fail in the same area? Why do I have to learn this lesson again and again, Lord? It's as if at times I'm just spinning my wheels deeper into the mud. I remember sweeter times of growth and closeness with the Lord. Why can't I be there now?

As I watched the last seconds of the game unfold, I pictured a different scenerio. I was one of the players on that court and it was the crowd of God's people calling out:

"Monica, God's promises are true!"

"You are God's very own!"

"The victory is ours!"

"Don't give up!"

As the final buzzer rang, the crowd rushed the the floor and the streamers drifted down from the ceiling, I nearly cried. It was not for the victory of the basketball game, but the profound realization that one day my race will end in glory.

"

School Days

2009-09-15T22:47:00.003-04:00

We are in our sixth week of school now. Today sitting on the couch I had fun photographing life as it happened around me:

Two were reading.

One was on the floor doing math.

The other was beside me learning about DeSoto while I completely enjoyed holding my niece.

And the others, well, I'll let you see for yourself.....