Monday, February 23, 2009

Second

I was the second born of four girls. I'm not a big fan of birth order theories. I think every family is dynamic and unique. Every person in a family does fall into a role of sorts because of their particular strengths or weaknesses. God doesn't make mistakes in how he designs families.

Our first two children were born (much to our surprise) thirteen months apart. In fact, I didn't even know I was pregnant again until my first Mother's Day. I was having my picture taken with six month old Hannah and was lying on my stomach at the time. The picture is quite humorous because my eyes are as big as saucers as I'm mentally considering the fact that I am either pregnant or have a cancerous growth. I kept that little secret to myself for about two weeks until it was confirmed. In July we had our first ultrasound. We were shocked to learn that our little one was not 12 weeks old, but 17 weeks!

Before the end of the year we welcomed our second daughter. My two blond babies. Inseparable. Distinctly different. Best friends.

It's been my joy and privilege to watch these two grow into young ladies. It is hard to imagine that at one time people thought they were twins. Now they are different in so many ways. Right handed and left handed. Detail oriented and visionary. A reader and an author. Reality and imagination. Modern and old fashioned. Yet they enjoy many of the same activities and because of their ages they are often placed side by side.

This is where being a mom gets really hard. While one is hitting her stride, the other is struggling. While one is getting acclamations, the other is looked over. While one is a natural, the other is working with all her might.

I'm praying for wisdom to encourage them both. I recognize that success is measured in a multitude of ways. God is glorified in both the victory and the struggle. But to my preteen girls it's not so clear. They don't have the perspective of experience to tell them that. They are just trying to find out where they fit and who they are becoming.

Their emotions are fragile. Their hearts are tender. They are sensitive to one another. And they are looking into my eyes for the next cue. While I'm rejoicing with one and crying with the other, I pray that they know, "I love you both."

6 comments:

Tisha said...

Monica, so well said. It is so hard to know what to do sometimes as a mom. All we can do is go to our heavenly Father and ask for answers. Praying for guidance for you friend, knowing that one day you will be able to pray for my guidance while dealing with pre-teens! :)

Alaina said...

As always, I love your posts. With also having two so close together, it's been a challenge for me to nurture them and love them in a way that ministers to them individually!

I have something for you on my blog!

jennie said...

You are doing such a good job. The Lord knew that the girls would need a mother like you. They are blessed to have you, each other and a dad that loves them dearly.

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

You're such a good and wise momma. I'm so blessed by you. Love you so!

Mary@notbefore7 said...

This post meant so much to me. My girls are 22 months apart, but technically are right next to another "in school" due to birthdates.

My hubby adn I have talk after talk about celebrating their victories without damaging the other. I have a feeling God will continue to have to give us constant wisdom as they grow into teens.

Right now, it is "simple" things, but they mean the world to them...

eally said...

I know exactly what you are talking about since I did raise twins. That is such a tricky path. Now that mine are older and we talk about things from the past I am amazed at their perceptions of events...when I worried, worried, worried and thought I was just messing up royally back then - they don't even remember what I'm talking about. Other times/events that hurt them and I don't even remember! You are an amazing mother, always making time for all your children...teaching and guiding them and instilling the love of Jesus in them - keep doing what you are doing and...
"Her children arise and call her blessed;"Prov 31:28