Lately I've been feeling a bit overwhelmed. I feel pressured. It's not coming from one particular person or event. It's just my life. Perhaps it is the realization that my real life is about as far as one can get from a no commitment, simple month at the beach.
We are back at work here and hitting it hard in the month of July. Sean held his own institute last week hosting Calculus teachers from all over the country. It was a hit and I am so proud of not only his knowledge, but his initiative to make it happen. This week we are enjoying an extended visit with my family and Sean will be leaving for Texas for a week. He's being evaluated to be an instructor for Texas Instruments as well as spending a few days on a writing team. Did I say I was proud of him?!
I have been cramming in a lot of work hours in between. Having missed the month of June, I'm trying to do some catch up. I know some people like to switch roles with their husbands, but I do not. I despise putting expectations on Sean that he was not designed to meet. Working 12 hour shifts not only takes me away from home physically, but emotionally and mentally as well. When I come home I am exhausted and ready for bed, but my eyes see (as only a woman's eyes do) my real workplace- my home.
I'm thankful that I don't have this tug and pull every day. I know some women do. I fear that I would not fare well. I am also thankful for a husband who is willing and able to manage seven children and make their days fun while I am gone. He has stepped out of his comfort zone in many more ways willingly and without complaining. Not many men would do that.
This past weekend I was feeling particularly overwhelmed by this whole scenario. Perhaps it was because I am beginning to plan our homeschool year. Perhaps it was because our schedules have been so full these past two weeks. Perhaps it was a culmination of emotions from this past week finally coming to the surface.
God reached down to me to comfort and soothe through the words and hugs of Sean. Instead of telling me to calm down and get a grip, he just held me close with soft words of assurances and rubbed my back until I fell asleep. And then this morning I read this.