Tuesday, March 25, 2008

The Waltons gone sour


WARNING!! IF YOU HAVE A WEAK STOMACH DO NOT READ. BUT IF YOU'RE A MOM THEN YOU'VE DONE THIS A DOZEN TIMES SO GO AHEAD AND READ ON FOR A GOOD LAUGH!!

My morning started at 4:30 with the herald of all good news, Betsy, talking in my ear. "Joseph, is making a sound like he is sick. It is sounds bad." Of course, my mind went right to the croup. You know, the barking dog, can't breathe, panting for life drama that Joseph has given us twice this winter. I told her to help him down the stairs.

At 4:30:30 beside me stood Joseph with cupped hands full of vomit. Nice. Don't hold it over me, please. He looked so confused as to how this could have happened and on HIS pillow and blanket, no less.

Hands got washed and the bathtub started running.

"Mommy, I had a feeling. A very, very, very bad feeling in my stomach and it came OUT!!!" he sobbed. "I think that my stomach had a very, very, very bad dream or something."

"Yes, that could be," I replied trying to adjust to the lights.

He looked fine. Not pasty white sick or anything. We had plans to go pick up some free organic food today, but that will not happen. Who knows when the next victim will fall. I don't want to be 40 minutes from home in a van full of puking kids. We just cleaned the van yesterday.

"Mommy, who will clean it all up? Is my blanket ruined?" The thought of this is sad.

"I clean it up, Joseph. That's what mommies do when their children are sick like this. I'll wash your clothes and your things and it will all be fine."

After the bath I made a spot on the floor by our bed which is a straight shot to the bathroom.

"Mom do I have to spit in the toilet where I poop and pee? Remember when I was sick and pooped on the stairs...." He started to get teary. I was shocked that he even remembered this at all because he was so young when it happened. Perhaps his sisters have reminded him about it a few times since then.

I didn't like where this conversation was going so I went and got "the bowl" to lay by his head. I turned off the light and said goodnight. Then something like an episode at the Walton's happened. You know- the end where all the kids won't be quiet but keep saying, "Good night, so-and-so..."

This was more like a constant firing of questions about bodily functions. Just when we would get drowsy another questions would come out. It got quite funny and I had to control myself from laughing. These are the ones I remember.

"But mom we cook with this bowl. What if I get sick? That's gross."

"Honey, I will clean it."

"How will you clean it?"

"With soap and water."

"But then the bubbles will be disgusting. Who will clean the bubbles? Hmmm..."



Joseph sat up.

"I can feel it. It's here (heart level). Now it's here (throat level). I think...."

"Joseph, lean over the bowl."

"Oh, now it's gone. Where does it go?"



"How does it come out like that? It's so fast and hot."

"Have you ever seen a volcano?"

"No."

"Okay. Have you ever seen a volcano in a book?"

"Yes."

"It's like that. It gets all bubbly in your stomach until your stomach can't hold it any more and it has to come out."

"I think I have a very strong stomach."



"Can you hear that? It's making noise in there. It's here (pointing the the left of his tummy). Now it's over there (pointing to the right). Why is it so busy? Can you hear that?"

I actually could.



"Where is that music coming from? How does dad do that when he's asleep?"

It was in fact the alarm clock going off to start the day.



He did fall asleep for a while. So far, so good. But I'm not holding my breath. Better start up the washer and dryer. I wonder who I'll be talking with tomorrow morning?

Postscript: I take back the "so far,so good"claim. The poor guy is sick and now REALLY confused because it's coming out both ends.







18 comments:

diana said...

i couldn't resist your teaser on mary's mr. linky.

i think this post is more sweet and heart-warming than it is gross. you're a good momma and it was fun reading your son's responses to what he was feeling and thinking.

Cindy-Still His Girl said...

I'm very impressed you can remember it. :)

That boy is FUN-NY! Love it.
Let me know how it goes cleaning the bubbles.

Denise said...

We had a very similar experience last week! My couch will never be (or smell) the same!! Ours passed very quickly. Hopefully yours will too!

Sarah said...

Oh, I really hope that he's feeling better soon and that your entire crew doesn't end up with it.

Anonymous said...

Hi Monica,
Jack woke up with same thing around 4a.m. Easter morning. He asked midday why this was happening to him...he was not relieved when I absently replied that he had a bug inside him --by the look on his face, I can imagine the type of critter he was visualizing!!
Beth

Sniz said...

You know what is so precious about that? That he was thinking about such stuff when he is so sick. I've always wondered if little kids feel the sick feeling like adults do because all I can think of when I'm sick is how awful I feel. He's such a cutie. I hope he got well soon and that no one else gets it.

soccermom said...

That boy is the sweetest thing! I really hope he starts feeling better soon... poor thing.

ET said...

Awwww, poor fella. You must be so exhausted. Hoping it all passes quickly.

Michelle said...

It's so much easier when we can look past the reality of the situation and find humor in the midst of it! And that's not so easy...especially that early in the morning! God Bless you for finding the silver lining!!!! OH MY!! He's got the makings of a scientist with all of those ponderings and questions. What fun!!!

Michelle said...

It's so much easier when we can look past the reality of the situation and find humor in the midst of it! And that's not so easy...especially that early in the morning! God Bless you for finding the silver lining!!!! OH MY!! He's got the makings of a scientist with all of those ponderings and questions. What fun!!!

Michelle said...

It's so much easier when we can look past the reality of the situation and find humor in the midst of it! And that's not so easy...especially that early in the morning! God Bless you for finding the silver lining!!!! OH MY!! He's got the makings of a scientist with all of those ponderings and questions. What fun!!!

eally said...

Oh bless your heart! That is a terrible feeling to wake up to (for your son) and for you to be woken up to...ugh, why does that seem to happen at night more often than in the daytime??

mindi said...

Oh the poor guy!! He sounds so cute and very intelligent. Hope he is better soon :(

Mary@notbefore7 said...

Oh Monica, I was quickly scooping up my five year old to make a mad dash for the potty last night - she was puking from 3 AM - 5:30 AM.

I laughed out loud at his sleepy conversation...SO FUNNY!

So glad you can look at the humor in it rather than the exhaustion and frustration!

Hope it doesn't spread around!

Catherine said...

I hope he feels better soon - we missed y'all today!

Angie said...

hi Monica! I was so excited to read your comment on my blog! I think about you and Sean so often - One of my favorite memories of college was before the spring semester started and I was back at school early for some reason...it snowed and you an Sean invited me over for dinner and we went to a movie at the Bonnie Kate. My only option was crackers or snow cream!

It was so good to see pics of your family - last time I saw you, you just had one baby! (Lydia? Hannah? Not sure who is the oldest.)

I have enjoyed going through your blog - you (and your kids) crack me up! Praying you stay healthy! You are now officially added to my favorites! Thanks again for posting a comment...good memories!
Angie

onemotherslove said...

I didn't think it was gross at all! It's just mommy-hood! In fact, I was cleaning pj's & blankets just a few nights ago myself!

mom24 said...

*hugs* for you...and for the kids too! Times like these are tiring but I wouldn't trade them for the world. I love the way little ones think things through.
Keep on keeping it 'real'!
Praying for some good sleep for you this week!
Andrea