Today was one of those days. One of those days that everyone seemed so needy and yet dissatisfied. One of those days when the same question is asked again and again to the point I thought I might explode. One of those days that I couldn't push back that overwhelmed feeling inside. One of those days when I honestly questioned if I'm making any impact at all. One of those days in which the inconvenient seemed to rule.
Just as we sat down to dinner I whispered to Sean, "I'm done. I seriously can't take anymore today."
Then the phone rang with tragic news from far away. Sean's cousin's baby girl died today unexpectedly at 36 weeks. Thinking of her and all that she has endured and picturing her husband receiving this tragic news in Afghanistan made my heart break. We prayed at the table asking that the Lord would somehow bring comfort and choked back tears while trying to swallow our food.
Today was one of those days I wish I could do over again. To listen a bit more patiently instead of interrupting. To hold my children a bit longer instead letting go to do my "work". To give a soft answer that instructed instead of accusing word. To respond to the inconveniences with a laugh instead of a heavy sigh.
Perspective.
7 comments:
Can I ever relate, Monica! I've got to admit that I've been a little impatient with some things...not always dealing with the issues the way God would desire me to. But after hearing this news last night, I found that anything I am going through just doesn't compare. Through tears even now, I keep praying for Pris and James...my heart goes out to them for their loss...again...
Thank you. I needed that.
I needed it too... thank you.
I'm so sorry. What hard, hard news -- and especially to have the father away in Afgh. i'll be thinking of them today.
Wow - the Lord was good to give you that perspective. I often find myself in the same place. It is awful news but from what I know of your family, God will use you to comfort them....
Thanks for your gut-filled honesty, Monica.
I'm so sorry for your family and the loss of their little girl.
I read this verse today....May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you. Ps. 33:22.
God's love never fails, no matter what.
That is so sad, I can't even begin to imagine.
And I have been feeling like you - overwhelmed, frustrated, wishing that I could change my tone and my words.
I need to pray hard that God can work through me, to give my kids the mother they deserve!!
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