Monday, February 11, 2008

The Homeschool Blues

Today I actually asked one of my girls to get the phone book out so I could look up the school's number and give them a call. What is wrong with me?

My children are clearly unmotivated. I'm uninspired. They are not understanding the material well. And everyone is fighting.

From the wedding, to sickness, to my surgery we are about 8 days behind of schedule and it is overwhelming. I need some time to take my attitude before the LORD and confess what is really going on in my heart. Usually, I can keep it contained, but today it is showing up in my words and actions toward these precious children. Somebody stop me.

When one of them asked me why I was crying I said, "Because I don't think that I do well enough at teaching." Her response? A pat on the back and the most sincere, "You're doing better than last year." Sigh.

I have 20 minutes here to wait in the car during Speech Therapy and I'm thankful for it. I have no doubt that homeschooling is God's best for our family, I just know all too well that I am not the best at it.


Sarah said...

I can't pretend to know what this is like...I'm thinking and praying about homeschooling, but am really afraid that I don't have the patience, organization, motivation or aptitude...

I do have an aunt who homeschooled her seven children until high school (she still has three at home). I've talked to her a lot about it. She readily admits to feeling overwhelmed, not good enough and behind schedule all of the time. Even so, so far all of her children have won merit based scholarships to exclusive CT prep schools and her son is a Freshman at an Ivy League college.

Be encouraged. I have a feeling your best is better than you think.

soccermom said...

Oh Monica, I am so sorry that you are having a bad day. Just so you know, you are an amazing homeschooling mom. You inspire me on so many levels! I will say a prayer for you! :-)

Cindy said...

Girl, it's like you've never homeschooled before... don't you know it is like this EVERY SINGLE FEBRUARY for EVERY SINGLE HOMESCHOOLER?? At least you're doing better than last year. Can you imagine if you were WORSE than last year??? :) That is hilarious.

Take the rest of the month off and just do fun stuff like come visit me.

Saralyn said...

Take a deep breath and think about why you're homeschooling. I'm guessing it's not to keep right on par with the government school!

We all have days (or weeks) when we get nothing "educational" done. I bet that's true at the school down the street, too! But we're together and if nothing else we're all learning how much we need Jesus, how to be gracious, and how to say, "I sinned against you, will you please forgive me?". And sometimes I think this is the most important thing we're learning anyway.

Hang in there, friend. I'll be praying for you.

mindi said...

Hang in there - I'm sure you're doing much better than you think. It must be very hard, but you are doing what is best for your family. And God will help you through this tough spot.
February is a tough month for EVERYONE I'm afraid . . .
I'll pray for you.

Sandlappersue said...

I agree with the others. February is a very hard month. We all have good days, weeks and years in this life of homeschooling. That's when I think we have to focus and ask, "what is our goal here?"

Sometimes we have to take a breath, step back and refocus. Sometimes we have to change our methods just to renew that zeal in learning. Please know that you are not alone. Don't let the enemy get you down. You are doing the Lord's will and He will bless you for it. Onward, Christian soldier!

My thoughts are to always improve on the way I did things the day before. There's always an improving process with occasional setbacks. The compliment your child gave you is a very wonderful one! One that I'd love to recieve.

Take care and lean on the Lord. No, we cannot do His will without Him!

In Christ,


Heather L. said...

I'm sorry Monica! Keep reminding yourself of all that you have been through in the last few weeks! (A LOT!) Things will improve eventually -- I wish you could have a little break. I'm praying for you and hoping that your leg will be improving this week.

Mel said...

Sometimes we get our best 'learning' done when we put the books away for a while. The joy of homeschooling - a break is allowed whenever needed!

Sniz said...

Hi sweet friend,

I hear the agony in your voice loud and clear. I wish February was easier. I, too, am really having a hard time. With school, with the house, with my weight. It's so cold and dark and dreary and every week is the same as the last. I do read-alouds every day, and since we're reading historical fiction about the Boston Massacre, I finally just gave up doing a separate History lesson and am letting that count for history. Part of my feels so bad because we fall further and further behind in our history curriculum, but hey, I'm keeping my head above water here. The kids are getting all the basics regularly. Hang in there, Monica! Will I see you in the morning? Hey, I saw Sean at Breanna's party Saturday. :-)

mom24 said...

Better than last year is good though, right? Isn't that the goal - always improving? Perfection is not the goal - you are only to do your very best. Ihave only been at this for a year but I know that we put a lot of extra pressure on ourselves only because we realize responsibility of the task the Lord has given us. But don't forget that our burden is His and He is walking us through these frustrating times!
Tomorrow is new day Monica! You're doing a great job!

Shari said...

We homeschool, too. But, I only have 5 kids. This is the time of year when we all get Spring fever, I start to burn out, and we switch from the organized curriculum to Unschooling for the rest of the year.

Mary@notbefore7 said...

Oh Monica, I appreciate your honesty and your daughter's honesty brought a smile to my face.

We have yet to embark on our homeschooling officially, but this was so helpful to read - seems that Feb is a rough time around the board.

Keep at it girl! God is so good and rewards our faithfulness and obediance to His call.