Going Under

Wow, what a whirlwind this weekend has been! My sister, Vanessa, is happily married and now on a beach in Mexico somewhere.

I, on the other hand, am getting ready for surgery on my leg this morning. I've "gone under" for surgery two other times. Once was an emergency during Rebekah's birth and the other last year. Being "put out" is my least favorite part of the whole thing. It must be my micromanaging self that gets a little freaked out to think about time and events happening while I'm unconscious.

If I think about this rationally I know that this happens every night when I'm asleep. The world does keep going even when I'm not participating. Unbelievable, I know. If the doctor had to he could wake me in an instant. I try to logic myself through the anxiety, but know in my heart that it is a trust issue.

The Lord never sleeps or slumbers. He is my Good Shepherd and His watch never ends.
So this morning I'll be mediating on Psalm 139, the chapter that He has used in so many ways throughout my life:

1 O LORD, you have searched me
and you know me.

2 You know when I sit and when I rise;
you perceive my thoughts from afar.

3 You discern my going out and my lying down;
you are familiar with all my ways.

4 Before a word is on my tongue
you know it completely, O LORD.

5 You hem me in—behind and before;
you have laid your hand upon me.

6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too lofty for me to attain.

7 Where can I go from your Spirit?
Where can I flee from your presence?

8 If I go up to the heavens, you are there;
if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.

9 If I rise on the wings of the dawn,
if I settle on the far side of the sea,

10 even there your hand will guide me,
your right hand will hold me fast.